Burt Gordon: I don't think I have to remind you that this could be... quite the little feather in your cap. Wrap it up and everybody's happy. Lieutenant?
Lt. Columbo: Um, yeah, I'm sorry. I was, uh, I was just thinking about something.
Burt Gordon: What was that?
Lt. Columbo: No, it's nothing important. It's, uh, Dr. Flemming, he didn't call to his wife when he came back to his apartment.
Burt Gordon: I don't follow you.
Lt. Columbo: Oh, well, I was in the bedroom. I was checking some things, and I heard him open the front door, and he didn't say anything, and... gee, it's funny how people are different, isn't it? Now you take myself, when I come home from a trip, uh, the first thing I do is I say, "Honey, you here?"
Burt Gordon: Exactly what is your point, Lieutenant?
Lt. Columbo: Point? Oh, I wasn't making a point.
Burt Gordon: It sounded to me as if you were. You heard the man admit that he had an argument with his wife. He probably still had a chip on his shoulder this morning.
Lt. Columbo: I was only tryin' to...
Burt Gordon: Lieutenant, I have already told you that Dr. Flemming is a close, personal friend of mine. Now I hope he's not going to be annoyed by a lot of tactless remarks, especially at a time like this.
Lt. Columbo: Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Gordon. I guess I shouldn't have mentioned it.


--Peter Falk (as ) in Prescription: Murder

Dr. Ray Flemming: Is there something I can do for you?
Lt. Columbo: Oh no, not really, doctor, no. I, I just came up to bring back your pen. I forgot to give it to you at the inquest.
[hands it over]
Dr. Ray Flemming: Well thanks, I missed it.
Lt. Columbo: You know, that's my trouble, I got a bad memory. My wife tells me I ought to have strings on all ten fingers.


--Peter Falk (as ) in Prescription: Murder

Dr. Ray Flemming: Lieutenant, if there's any further way I can be of assistance to you...
Lt. Columbo: Oh, no, no, no, you just make out that list, that'll be fine, Doc.
Dr. Ray Flemming: Thank you.
Lt. Columbo: Oh, oh, one more thing, before I forget...


--Peter Falk (as ) in Prescription: Murder

Dr. Ray Flemming: People don't always do the rational thing.
Lt. Columbo: Oh, they sure don't! You learn a lot about that in my line. Well, I guess you do in yours too.


--Peter Falk (as ) in Prescription: Murder

Dr. Ray Flemming: They expect me to be on call at all hours.
Lt. Columbo: Same with me, Doctor.


--Peter Falk (as ) in Prescription: Murder

Dr. Ray Flemming: Well, what is it? Tell me!
Lt. Columbo: Well, um, somebody broke in here and tried to kill her.
Dr. Ray Flemming: [Flemming feigns shock for a moment when the words register] "Tried" to kill her?
Lt. Columbo: That's right, Doctor. She's lucky she's still alive.
Dr. Ray Flemming: [feigning relief] She's still alive! Well, where is she now? Is she conscious? Has she been able to say anything?
Lt. Columbo: Well, I'm afraid not. She's been in a coma.
Dr. Ray Flemming: Well, what's her condition right now? Oh, come on, I must know the truth!
Lt. Columbo: It's not very good, Doctor. We only hope she comes to long enough to be able to talk to us.


--Peter Falk (as ) in Prescription: Murder

Guy Gisborne: I like what you're sayin', keep talkin'.


--Peter Falk (as Guy Gisborne) in Robin and the 7 Hoods

Joy Boy: Does it still kinda get you right here?


--Peter Falk (as Joy Boy) in Pocketful of Miracles

Joy Boy: I ain't gonna marry her! An' y'know why? 'Cause my wife don't like it when I go around marryin' people! She's funny that way!


--Peter Falk (as Joy Boy) in Pocketful of Miracles

Joy Boy: What's with her?
Dave the Dude: Aah, she just wants a bunch of kids.
Joy Boy: Kids? Aw, they're mean when they get on that kick.


--Peter Falk (as Joy Boy) in Pocketful of Miracles