Harry Miller: We're gonna have yachts, motorcars, penthouses...
Teddy Jordan: Oh boy, don't forget a ham sandwich!


--Milton Berle (as ) in Radio City Revels

J. Algernon Hawthorne: [Russell takes a swing at him and misses] So it's fisticuffs you want, is it? Right, stick 'em up!
J. Russell Finch: Don't hit me! Don't hit me!
[Hawthorne chases him around the car, until the two bump into one another]
J. Algernon Hawthorne: [looks at his arm] Blood!
J. Russell Finch: It certainly is.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Aah!
[Russell swings at him again]
J. Russell Finch: [Hawthorne runs] Come back here, ya blimey...!


--Milton Berle (as J. Russell Finch) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

J. Algernon Hawthorne: Jolly nasty accident there. Jolly lucky nobody was hurt.
Mrs. Marcus: Where did you get that funny accent? Are you from Harvard or something?
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Harvard? Rather not. I'm English.
Mrs. Marcus: Sounds so foreign.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Really?


--Milton Berle (as J. Russell Finch) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

J. Algernon Hawthorne: You know I'm not entirely uncertain you haven't damaged this machine.


--Milton Berle (as J. Russell Finch) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

J. Russell Finch: Hey, did you see th-the way he went SAILING right out there?


--Milton Berle (as J. Russell Finch) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

J. Russell Finch: I don't know, I must find my wife. I don't know what to do.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Look, wherever they are, surely the most sensible thing for the two of us to do is to press on. I mean for all we know, your brother in-law may be out or away somewhere. And even if he were the first to be there, he still has to find the money, hasn't he? Now I earnestly recommend that we forget your good ladies and press on with all possible dispatch.
J. Russell Finch: [mockingly] Alright, we'll press on with all possible dispatch.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: And I don't really think that personal rancor is going to help the situation. If I may say so.


--Milton Berle (as J. Russell Finch) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

J. Russell Finch: Lets stop arguing please! The only reason were together is because they only had one car. So lets get there, even if we are last.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Whatever the outcome of the day I shall never forget that you hit me when I wasn't even looking!
J. Russell Finch: [smiling] yeah.


--Milton Berle (as J. Russell Finch) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

J. Russell Finch: You want me to tell you something? As far as I'm concerned the whole British race is practically finished. If it hadn't been for lend-lease. If we hadn't have kept your whole country afloat by giving you billions that you never even said "Thank you" for, the whole phony outfit would be sunk right under the Atlantic years ago.
[Hawthorne screeches to a stop]
J. Russell Finch: What are you stopping for?
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Get out of this machine.
J. Russell Finch: Get out? You can't...
J. Algernon Hawthorne: It's my machine, I will do as I bloody well please. Out!
J. Russell Finch: I'm awfully sorry. I've been very edgy today and if I said anything about England, I apologize.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Glad to hear you say so.


--Milton Berle (as J. Russell Finch) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Mrs. Marcus: [holding a planter containing several cactus] Well, where should I put this?
J. Russell Finch: [scoffing] Oh, boy.


--Milton Berle (as J. Russell Finch) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Mrs. Marcus: [holding cactus plant] Where should I stick this?
J. Russell Finch: [double take] Oh boy.


--Milton Berle (as J. Russell Finch) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World