Mrs. Reeves: I guess I'll run along.
Ronnie Hastings: Must you go? I was just poisoning the tea.


--Keenan Wynn (as ) in My Dear Secretary

Chief Sitting Bull: Sitting Bull live by three words: Keep bow tight, Keep arrow sharp,
[and with finality]
Chief Sitting Bull: No put money into show business.
Charlie Davenport: [rhetorically] How'd we ever get this country away from them?


--Keenan Wynn (as Charlie Davenport) in Annie Get Your Gun

Alonzo Hawk: Why, if you weren't deductible, I'd disown you.


--Keenan Wynn (as Alonzo P. Hawk) in Son of Flubber

Harvey Huntington Honeywagon III: Imagine... boys and girls sleeping on the beach side-by-side, unchaperoned. Now what kind of society is it that would allow such a thing?


--Keenan Wynn (as Harvey Huntington Honeywagon) in Bikini Beach

Irving Klinger: This is a pretty box of pickles!


--Keenan Wynn (as Irving Klinger / Edgar Klinger) in Royal Wedding

Martin Delwyn 'Marty' Ainsley: [On the radio] The writing is on the wall. So few of us seem able to read it.


--Keenan Wynn (as Martin Delwyn 'Marty' Ainsley) in B.F.'s Daughter

Old Sailor: Hey, Commander.
[Charlie grunts]
Old Sailor: You see that little kid on the floor?
[Charlie grunts]
Old Sailor: Well him and me have been stoned for two days! We started out with three bottles of vanilla extract. Then we got in with some submarine fellas and we finished off a number 10 can of topedo alcohol. You gotta be pretty stoned after that, right?
Lt. Cmdr. Charles E. Madison: I would think so.
Old Sailor: Well, Commander, we ain't that stoned. We're not that stoned if we're gonna go out onto that beach and take pictures of the dead bodies floating in with no film in the camera!
Lt. Cmdr. Charles E. Madison: Well then, what'd ya say we don't make this movie? Huh!
Old Sailor: Hey, that's swell!


--Keenan Wynn (as Old Sailor) in The Americanization of Emily

Old Sailor: Oh, well now, I'll tell you one thing. You gotta put film in this camera.
Lt. Cmdr. Charles E. Madison: Are you sure of that?
Old Sailor: Well for the love of Mike - I mean - What's the matter with you? If you're gonna make a movie you gotta put film in the camera. Even I know that.
Lt. Cmdr. Charles E. Madison: No, no no. No. We're gonna make this movie without film. This movie, sailor, cannot be made, has no reason for being made, and none of us know how to make a movie anyway. So what's the sense in using film?
Old Sailor: Makes sense!


--Keenan Wynn (as Old Sailor) in The Americanization of Emily

Ronnie Hastings: I made a wedding breakfast...spaghetti and meatballs.


--Keenan Wynn (as ) in My Dear Secretary

Ronnie Hastings: Is it informal, or shall I bathe?


--Keenan Wynn (as ) in My Dear Secretary