Cinderfella: [Fella reading from the engraving on a ring] To Fella: Love thy neighbor. Love him hard and well. The love that you give will be returned and manifested in itself, to give back the warmth and the care and the affection, as well as the hugs and the loves of those who have loved. To live and not to love could be affectionate, but yet warmth would still maintain itself in the love that you give to them. Oh, others have loved in the past and yet have found that they couldn't be hate. So with love it is the beneficial part of giving. Many children in the past have loved and yet found that they couldn't possibly know anyone with kissing and wisdom with hugging...


--Jerry Lewis (as Cinderfella) in Cinderfella

Eugene Fullstack: No, I'm not cute. They wanted to have me drowned when I was born, but the SPCA stopped them.


--Jerry Lewis (as ) in Artists and Models

Eugene Fullstack: They wanted to have me drowned when I was born, but the SPCA stopped them.


--Jerry Lewis (as ) in Artists and Models

Eugene Fullstack: Those lovely lips, those red inviting, lucious lips - like two strips of liver gleaming in the moonlight!


--Jerry Lewis (as ) in Artists and Models

Herbert H. Heebert: Hey, lady!


--Jerry Lewis (as Herbert H. Heebert / Mama Heebert) in The Ladies Man

Homer Flagg: [running excitedly around his expensive hotel suite] Another bathroom! So shiny, so clean you gotta wash up before you go in there!


--Jerry Lewis (as ) in Living It Up

Homer Flagg: [to Dr. Harris as he sees a skeleton in his office closet] You probably thought nothing was wrong with him either!


--Jerry Lewis (as ) in Living It Up

Homer Flagg: I wish I could go to New York with yuh.
Isaiah Jackson: Now, Homer, you're gonna be fillin' my shoes, stationmaster of Desert Hole!
Homer Flagg: [dejectedly] Yeah.
Isaiah Jackson: [optimistically] In exactly 52 years you'll be getting your pension. Then you'll be on your way to wine, women, and song.
Homer Flagg: In 52 years who'll be able to sing?


--Jerry Lewis (as ) in Living It Up

Homer Flagg: Oh, I'm feelin' much better this morning. I heard a bird sing.
Dr. Steve Harris: Yeah, I heard the same bird sing, Homer, - SING SING!
Homer Flagg: Wha - ho - unh! The fever's coming back!


--Jerry Lewis (as ) in Living It Up

John Paul Steckler VII: Now hear this! Now hear this! I want a tight ship! I want an efficient ship! 'Cause an efficient ship is a happy ship! And a happy ship is a tight ship! And I want everyone to be efficient, happy and tight!


--Jerry Lewis (as ) in Don't Give Up The Ship