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W.C. Fields

W.C. Fields
(as Harold Bissonette)

Insurance Salesman: If you should live to be 100...
[Harold chases him off the deck]
Harold: And suppose I live to be 200, I'll get a velocipede!
W.C. Fields

W.C. Fields
(as Harold Bissonette)

Harold: You all gotta remember one thing: that I [quietly] am the boss in this house.
W.C. Fields

W.C. Fields
(as Harold Bissonette)

Amelia: Why were you sitting there like a stone image when those men were insulting me?
Harold: I was just waiting for one of 'em to say something to me.
Charles Sellon

Charles Sellon
(as Mr. Muckle)

Mr. Muckle: (after he crashes his cane thru the glass pane door)
You got that door closed again, uh?
Charles Sellon

Charles Sellon
(as Mr. Muckle)

Harold Bissonette: Here's your chewing gum. Five cents please.
Mr. Muckle: I'm not going to lug that with me. Send it!
Charles Sellon

Charles Sellon
(as Mr. Muckle)

Harold Bissonette: What can I do for you?
Mr. Muckle: Have you got any chewing gum?
Kathleen Howard

Kathleen Howard
(as Amelia Bissonette)

Amelia Bissonette: Wake up and go to sleep!
W.C. Fields

W.C. Fields
(as Harold Bissonette)

Mother: Just use your own judgment.
Daughter: You tell me where to go.
Harold: [muttering] I'd like to tell you both where to go.
W.C. Fields

W.C. Fields
(as Harold Bissonette)

[Harold ripped a pillow playing with the dog]
Amelia: Those were my mother's feathers!
Harold: Never knew your mother had feathers.
W.C. Fields

W.C. Fields
(as Harold Bissonette)

Harold: Open the door for Mr. Muckle!
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