Man on train: Don't take that tone with me, young man. I fought the war for your sort.
Ringo: I bet you're sorry you won.

Man On Train: I shall call the guard!
Paul: Ah, but what? They don't take kindly to insults, you know. Let's go have some coffee and leave the kennel to Lassie!

Norm: [sees Paul's grandfather for the first time] Hey...
George, Paul, John, Ringo: [in unison] Who's that little old man?
Norm: Well, who is he?
Ringo: He belongs to Paul.

Norm: Hey, have you seen Paul's grandfather?
John: Of course. He's concealed about my person.
Norm: [rolls his eyes] He must have slipped off somewhere.
Paul: Have you lost him?
Norm: Don't exaggerate.
Paul: You've lost him!
Shake: Put it this way, Paulie: he's mislaid him.

Norm: Now you've got about an hour, but don't leave the theater. Where are you going, John?
John: [with a dancing girl] She's gonna show me her stamp collection.
Paul: [also with a girl] So's mine.
Norm: John, I'm talking to you. This final run-through is important, understand? Important!
[John snorts like a pig, then leaves]
Grandfather: I want a cup of tea!
Norm: Uh, Shake?
Shake: [reaching for a guitar] Um... I've got to adjust the decibels on the imbalance, Norm.
Norm: Clever. George?
[George puts his fingers in his ears]
Norm: Ringo, look after him, will you?
Ringo: Ah, Norm!
Norm: Do I have to raise my voice?
Ringo: All right. Come on, Granddad.
[mumbling]
Ringo: I'm a drummer, not a wet nurse, you know?

Norm: Stop being taller than me!
Shake: I can't help it.

Shake: He's been gone awhile, hasn't he?
Norm: Who has?
Shake: Paul's grandfather.
Norm: Oh, he's down the uh...
Shake: Oh, down the uh...?
Norm: Yeah, down the uh...
Shake: Oh, we'll give him a couple minutes, then.

Shake: It's not my fault.
Norm: What?
Shake: I'm not taller than you are. You're smaller than I am.

Grandfather: Hey, Paulie, they're trying to fob you off with this musical charlatan. But I gave him the test.
T.V. Director: I'm quite happy to be replaced.
Grandfather: He's a typical buck-passer.

Grandfather: Hullo.
John: He can talk then, can he?
Paul: 'Course he can talk. He's a human being, isn't he?
Ringo: Well if he's your grandfather, who knows! Ha ha ha!