Parlor, Bedroom and Bath (1931)

Polly Hathaway: You're dead and you won't lay down.

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Jeffrey Haywood: Now, when you first get to your room, order some... uh, champagne and broiled lobster.
Reginald Irving: Champ... Ch... Can't you make it beer?
Jeffrey Haywood: Beer? Certainly not. Champagne!
[pause]
Jeffrey Haywood: C, H, A, M, P, A, uh... oh, well, make it wine. W, I, N, E.
Reginald Irving: Oh well, what do I call her?
Jeffrey Haywood: Oh, call her... kid, sweetheart, baby...
Reginald Irving: Kid, sweetheart, baby.
Jeffrey Haywood: Uh huh. And then when you're helping her to take off her...
Reginald Irving: Take off her what?
Jeffrey Haywood: Wrap!
Reginald Irving: R, A, P.
Jeffrey Haywood: No, WRAP! *W*, R, A, P.
Reginald Irving: Wap?
Jeffrey Haywood: Wap?... Well, make it coat.
Reginald Irving: K, O, T, E.

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Leila Crofton: Well, I should think she'd be able to take one look at you and realize that if you were left alone with a woman... why...
Reginald Irving: We'd both be safe.
[pause]
Reginald Irving: I-I was in a house one time, aaall alone with the most beautiful French maid... and she tried to kiss me. She was baking a pie...
Leila Crofton: And what did you do?
Reginald Irving: ...I ate the pie.

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Filmed in Buster Keaton's own house.
A modern source lists Eugene Pallette in the cast. Although he was in the 1920 version, he was not in this film.
The play opened in New York City on 24 December 1917 and ran for 232 performances.
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