[Carter and Dingle are reading a "Dick Tracy" comic strip]
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Is that the best you can do with your time?
Joe Carter: Mmm. Got to keep up with what's going on.
Benjamin Dingle: I missed two Sundays with "Superman" once, and I've never felt right since.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Seems to me you might read something more beneficial.
Joe Carter: Like what?
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Like the editorials, for instance, or the columns. All well-informed people read the columnists.
Benjamin Dingle: Such as Mr. Pendergast, I suppose.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: You're right, I suppose. Mr. Pendergast always reads the columnists.
Joe Carter: Are they funny?
Benjamin Dingle: Sometimes, but no pictures.

Lloyd Richards: What makes you think either Miller or Sherwood would stand for the nonsense I take from you? You'd better stick to Beaumont and Fletcher! They've been dead for three hundred years!
Margo Channing: ALL playwrights should be dead for three hundred years!

Scarlett: You're a conceited, black heated vulture and I don't know I let you come in and see me.
Rhett Butler: I'll tell you why, Scarlett. The war can't last much longer.
Scarlett: Really, Rhett. Why?
Rhett Butler: There's a little battle going on right now.

Longfellow Deeds: When the servant comes in, Mr. Hallor, I'm going to ask him to show you to the door. Many people don't know where it is.

Matt Beemish: I'm the court psychiatrist.
Richard Nugent: Come back in an hour. I'll be crazy by then.

Waiter at Tick Tock Club:
[to Nugent after he has been yelled at, insulted, slapped, had champagne tossed in his face and been stuck with the check]
Can I get you anything else, sir?
Richard Nugent: For instance?

Mr. Hyde: Perhaps you prefer a gentleman. One of those fine-mannered and honorable gentlemen. Those panting hypocrites who like your legs but talk about your garters.

Georgia: If you work for the CIA, how come you hang around with dentists?
Harvey Greenfield: He's installing a miniature radio transmitor in my wisdom tooth.

Spats Colombo: Hello, copper. What brings you to Miami?
Mulligan: Heard you "opera lovers" were having a convention, so I thought I'd better be around in case anybody decided to sing.

Daphne: [in the berth, with the lady band members passing food around and a corkscrew's been brought] Girls, keep it down! You'll wake up the neighbours downstairs, now Josephine... WATCH THAT CORKSCREW!