Professor Fred Lieberman: Millions of people nowadays are religious only in the vaguest sense. I've often wondered why the Jews among them still go on calling themselves Jews. Do you know, Mr. Green?
Phil Green: No, but I'd like to.
Professor Fred Lieberman: Because the world still makes it an advantage not to be one. Thus it becomes a matter of pride to go on calling ourselves Jews.

Kathy Lacey: You can't help that you were born Christian instead of Jewish. It doesn't mean you're glad you were. But I am glad. There, I said it.

Phil Green: You aren't going to fit it at all, Kathy! You're just going to give in and let their idiotic rules stand!
Kathy Lacey: What can one person do?
Phil Green: What can they do?
Kathy Lacey: Plenty! Ostracize him!
Phil Green: And you expect me to live there now that I know all this?
Kathy Lacey: Oh, you can't change the whole world!

Resort Clerk: In answer to your question, do you follow the Hebrew religion yourself, or do you just want to make sure?
Phil Green: I've asked a simple question, and I'd like a simple answer.
Resort Clerk: Well, we have a very high-class clientele, and, well...
Phil Green: Then you do restrict your guests to Gentiles?
Resort Clerk: Well, I would hardly say that, and in any event, there seems to have been some mistake because we don't have a single free room in the entire hotel.

Phil Green: I've been saying I'm Jewish, and it works.
Dave Goldman: Why, you crazy fool! It's working?
Phil Green: It works too well. I've been having my nose rubbed in it, and I don't like the smell.
Dave Goldman: You're not insulated yet, Phil. The impact must be quite a business on you.
Phil Green: You mean you get indifferent to it in time?
Dave Goldman: No, but you're concentrating a lifetime into a few weeks. You're not changing the facts, you're just making them hurt more.

Phil Green: What makes you say that?
Bert McAnny: Oh, I don't know. You just seem like... a clever sort of guy.
Phil Green: What makes you think I wasn't a G.I.?
Bert McAnny: What? Now, Green, don't get me wrong. Why, some of my best friends are Jews.
Anne Dettrey: And some of your other best friends are Methodists, but you never bother to say that.

Phil Green: I'm going to let everybody know I'm Jewish.
Kathy Lacey: Jewish? But you're not! Are you? Not that it would make any difference to me. But you said, "Let everybody know," as if you hadn't before and would now. So I just wondered. Not that it would make any difference to me. Phil, you're annoyed.
Phil Green: No, I'm just thinking.
Kathy Lacey: Well, don't look serious about it. Surely you must know where I stand.
Phil Green: Oh, I do.
Kathy Lacey: You just caught me off-guard.

Elaine Wales: I changed my name. Did you?
Phil Green: Green has always been my name. What's yours?
Elaine Wales: Estelle Walovsky. I couldn't take it. The applications, I mean. So one day I wrote the same firm two letters, same as you're doing now. I sent the Elaine Wales one, and I sent it after they said there were no openings. Well, I got the job, all right. Do you know what firm that was? "Smith's Weekly."
Phil Green: No.
Elaine Wales: Yes, Mr. Green. The great liberal magazine that fights injustice on all sides.

Phil Green: Some people hate Catholics, some people hate Jews.
Tommy Green: And no one hates us because we're Americans.

Anne Dettrey: I know dear, and some of your other best friends are Methodist, but you never bother to say it.