Pseudolus:
[Speaking of the girl Hero says he loves] A common courtesan in the house of Lycus?
Hero: Is that bad?
Pseudolus: There's no way to make it sound like an achievement!
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Hero: Is that bad?
Pseudolus: There's no way to make it sound like an achievement!
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Pseudolus:
An honest virgin! What a terrible combination!
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Pseudolus:
Don't you know? When they start to smile, the end is near. I hear it's lovely on Crete. Everyone lying there... smiling.
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Pseudolus:
I shall return in a nonce. At most, two nonces.
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Pseudolus:
You must never know what goes on in that house.
Hero: But I do know.
Pseudolus: You do? Isn't it amazing.
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Hero: But I do know.
Pseudolus: You do? Isn't it amazing.
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Raymond Fitch:
Oh, yeah. I went to see my mother-in-law. She was wrestling semifinals...
--Zero Mostel (as Raymond Fitch) in Panic in the Streets
--Zero Mostel (as Raymond Fitch) in Panic in the Streets
Hero:
People do not go around freeing slaves every day.
Pseudolus: Be the first. Start a fashion.
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Pseudolus: Be the first. Start a fashion.
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
[Examining a wine bottle]
Pseudolus: Was 1 a good year?
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Pseudolus: Was 1 a good year?
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
[Searching for the sure-fire flop]
Max Bialystock: "Gregor Samsa awoke one morning to discover that he had been transformed into a giant cockroach." Nah, it's too good.
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Max Bialystock: "Gregor Samsa awoke one morning to discover that he had been transformed into a giant cockroach." Nah, it's too good.
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
