Larson E. Whipsnade: Never trust a ventriloquist or a barber.
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Larson E. Whipsnade: This way, ladies and gentlemen, this way. Right up on this platform. The world's greatest novelty. The Pronkwonk Twins! Elwood and Brentwood. Elwood is ten minutes older than Brentwood and has been in a hurry ever since. Ladies and gentlemen, Brentwood is the smallest giant in the world, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
--W.C. Fields (as ) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Larson E. Whipsnade: Wherever the people speak a civilized tongue, the name of Whipsnade is a household word!
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Larson E. Whipsnade: You kids are disgusting! Standing around here all day, reeking of popcorn and lollipops.
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Larson E. Whipsnade: You know, getting married is like buying a new horse... going into a strange saloon...
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Whipsnade: I was one-time champion of the Tri-state league and the Lesser Antilles. Didn't know one card from the other when I started... but I stayed up at night marking with a pen.
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Whipsnade:[singing in shower] I'd rather have two girls / At twenty-one each / Than one girl at forty-two!
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Mr. Archibald Bel-Goodie: You absent yourself from this house immediately! You pharisee... you pecksniff... you egregious tartuffle!
Larson E. Whipsnade: Tartuffle? Is that good or bad?
Mr. Archibald Bel-Goodie: You're a fraud, a charlatan and a rogue, sir!
Larson E. Whipsnade: Oh, is that in my favor?
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Larson E. Whipsnade: Tartuffle? Is that good or bad?
Mr. Archibald Bel-Goodie: You're a fraud, a charlatan and a rogue, sir!
Larson E. Whipsnade: Oh, is that in my favor?
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Hillbilly: All I want's my salary.
Larson E. Whipsnade: Glutton. Yes indeedy, yes indeedy. You'll get your celery, and olives, and mustard too!
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Larson E. Whipsnade: Glutton. Yes indeedy, yes indeedy. You'll get your celery, and olives, and mustard too!
--W.C. Fields (as Larson E. Whipsnade) in You Can't Cheat an Honest Man
Harry Payne Bosterly: You're drunk!
Harold Bissonette: And you're crazy. But I'll be sober tomorrow and you'll be crazy for the rest of your life.
--W.C. Fields (as Harold Bissonette) in It's a Gift
Harold Bissonette: And you're crazy. But I'll be sober tomorrow and you'll be crazy for the rest of your life.
--W.C. Fields (as Harold Bissonette) in It's a Gift
