[Dr. Lao is fishing in a dried-up riverbed]
Ed Cunningham: I hate to tell you this, Doctor, but there aren't any fish in that river. In fact, there isn't any river.
Dr. Lao: That's okay. Me no use bait.
--Tony Randall (as Dr. Lao / The Abominable Snowman / Merlin the Magician / Apollonius of Tyana / Pan / The Giant Serpent / Medusa / Audience Member) in 7 Faces of Dr. Lao
Ed Cunningham: I hate to tell you this, Doctor, but there aren't any fish in that river. In fact, there isn't any river.
Dr. Lao: That's okay. Me no use bait.
--Tony Randall (as Dr. Lao / The Abominable Snowman / Merlin the Magician / Apollonius of Tyana / Pan / The Giant Serpent / Medusa / Audience Member) in 7 Faces of Dr. Lao
[last lines]
Dr. Lao: Mike, the whole world is a circus if you look at it the right way. Every time you pick up a handful of dust, and see not the dust, but a mystery, a marvel, there in your hand, every time you stop and think, "I'm alive, and being alive is fantastic!" Every time such a thing happens, Mike, you are part of the Circus of Dr. Lao.
--Tony Randall (as Dr. Lao / The Abominable Snowman / Merlin the Magician / Apollonius of Tyana / Pan / The Giant Serpent / Medusa / Audience Member) in 7 Faces of Dr. Lao
Dr. Lao: Mike, the whole world is a circus if you look at it the right way. Every time you pick up a handful of dust, and see not the dust, but a mystery, a marvel, there in your hand, every time you stop and think, "I'm alive, and being alive is fantastic!" Every time such a thing happens, Mike, you are part of the Circus of Dr. Lao.
--Tony Randall (as Dr. Lao / The Abominable Snowman / Merlin the Magician / Apollonius of Tyana / Pan / The Giant Serpent / Medusa / Audience Member) in 7 Faces of Dr. Lao
[the boys are discussing which one of the four boys will get it on with Cathy on Mondays]
Fred Williams: I'm busy Monday nights.
Doug Jackson: That busy?
Fred Williams: Monday night the Greenwich Little League Association meets.
George Drayton: Little league? This is big league stuff, baby. Night games.
--Tony Randall (as George Drayton) in Boys' Night Out
Fred Williams: I'm busy Monday nights.
Doug Jackson: That busy?
Fred Williams: Monday night the Greenwich Little League Association meets.
George Drayton: Little league? This is big league stuff, baby. Night games.
--Tony Randall (as George Drayton) in Boys' Night Out
Hotel clerk:
There's no phone number, but I have a forwarding address.
Jonathan Forbes: 241 Stoneybrook Road.
Hotel clerk: Why yes sir.
Jonathan Forbes: [slams counter] And you let her go.
Hotel clerk: Well, it wasn't my place...
Jonathan Forbes: No, it's my place, and I helped him pack.
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
Jonathan Forbes: 241 Stoneybrook Road.
Hotel clerk: Why yes sir.
Jonathan Forbes: [slams counter] And you let her go.
Hotel clerk: Well, it wasn't my place...
Jonathan Forbes: No, it's my place, and I helped him pack.
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
George Kimball:
Egods, you've got cold feet!
Arnold Nash: Complaints, complaints, nothing but complaints! I could do some complaining, too, you know. You ever cut your toenails?
--Tony Randall (as Arnold) in Send Me No Flowers
Arnold Nash: Complaints, complaints, nothing but complaints! I could do some complaining, too, you know. You ever cut your toenails?
--Tony Randall (as Arnold) in Send Me No Flowers
George Kimball:
When a man's wife thinks he's having an affair, how can he convince her he's not?
Arnold Nash: He can't.
George Kimball: But I'm not having one!
Arnold Nash: Doesn't make any difference.
George Kimball: Isn't a man innocent until proven guilty?
Arnold Nash: Look, you're dealing with your wife. You can forget the Constitution.
--Tony Randall (as Arnold) in Send Me No Flowers
Arnold Nash: He can't.
George Kimball: But I'm not having one!
Arnold Nash: Doesn't make any difference.
George Kimball: Isn't a man innocent until proven guilty?
Arnold Nash: Look, you're dealing with your wife. You can forget the Constitution.
--Tony Randall (as Arnold) in Send Me No Flowers
Jonathan Forbes:
Brad, she is the sweetest, she is the loveliest, she is the most talented woman I have ever met.
Brad Allen: That's what you said when you married that stripper.
Jonathan Forbes: She wasn't a stripper. She was an exotic dancer... with trained doves.
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
Brad Allen: That's what you said when you married that stripper.
Jonathan Forbes: She wasn't a stripper. She was an exotic dancer... with trained doves.
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
Jonathan Forbes:
Owww!
Brad Allen: What?
Jonathan Forbes: That chair. It just bit me.
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
Brad Allen: What?
Jonathan Forbes: That chair. It just bit me.
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
Jonathan Forbes:
You've been crying for 60 miles.
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
(after Jan and Jonathan kiss)
Jonathan Forbes: Well, they didn't hit the moon with the first missile shot either.
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
Jonathan Forbes: Well, they didn't hit the moon with the first missile shot either.
--Tony Randall (as Jonathan Forbes) in Pillow Talk
