Richard Sherman: 'What happened at the office? Well, I shot Mr. Brady in the head, made violent love to Miss Morris and set fire to three hundred thousand copies of Little Women. That's what happened at the office.' What *can* happen at the office?


--Tom Ewell (as Richard Sherman) in The Seven Year Itch

Richard Sherman: Good old Rachmaninov. The Second Piano Concerto. Never misses.


--Tom Ewell (as Richard Sherman) in The Seven Year Itch

Richard Sherman: I know girls like this! They just can't keep their big mouths shut! This is gonna be all over New York... she's probably telling someone about it right now... yaddida yaddida yaddida...
[cuts to The Girl gossiping about their crazy night]
Richard Sherman: ... I knew it! I knew it! Big blabbermouth!


--Tom Ewell (as Richard Sherman) in The Seven Year Itch

Richard Sherman: If Helen sent you to get a divorce.
Tom MacKenzie: [incredulous] A divorce?
Richard Sherman: [continuing] I absolutely refuse! I'll fight it in every court!
Tom MacKenzie: [incredulous] She sent me for the paddle.
Richard Sherman: [continuing; crazed] Because I can explain everything: the stairs, the cinnamon toast, the blond in the kitchen.
Tom MacKenzie: [interrupts; incredulous] Wait! Wait a minute Dickey-Boy. What blond in the kitchen?
Richard Sherman: [seething with contempt] Oh, wouldn't you like to know! Maybe it's Marilyn Monroe!


--Tom Ewell (as Richard Sherman) in The Seven Year Itch

Richard Sherman: It sort of cools the ankles, doesn't it?


--Tom Ewell (as Richard Sherman) in The Seven Year Itch

Richard Sherman: Miss Morris, I'm perfectly capable of fixing my own breakfast. As a matter of fact, I had a peanut butter sandwich and two whiskey sours.


--Tom Ewell (as Richard Sherman) in The Seven Year Itch

Richard Sherman: Miss, may I have the check, please?
Waitress at Vegetarian Restaurant: Oh, yes, sir. Now let's see... we had the number seven special, a soybean hamburger with french-fried soybeans... Soybean sherbet and peppermint tea.
Richard Sherman: Don't forget I had a cocktail to start.
Waitress at Vegetarian Restaurant: Oh yes, we had the sauerkraut juice on the rocks, didn't we? You will be proud to know that your entire meal with the cocktail was only 260 calories.
Richard Sherman: I am proud.


--Tom Ewell (as Richard Sherman) in The Seven Year Itch

Richard Sherman: My wife. She found out about us and she shot me. Five times in the back and twice in the belly!


--Tom Ewell (as Richard Sherman) in The Seven Year Itch

Warren Francis Attinger: [to Adam Bonner] Listen, you don't get a split lip from imagination!


--Tom Ewell (as Warren Attinger) in Adam's Rib

Tom MacKenzie: What blonde in the kitchen?
Richard Sherman: Wouldn't you like to know! Maybe it's Marilyn Monroe!


--Tom Ewell (as Richard Sherman) in The Seven Year Itch