George: Hey, you're all red again.
Ringo: I know, I'm beginning to like it!


--Ringo Starr (as Ringo) in Help!

George: What's the matter with you, then?
Ringo: It's his grandfather. I can tell he doesn't like me. It's cause I'm little.
George: Ah, you've got an inferiority complex, you have.
Ringo: Yeah, I know, that's why I play the drums - it's me active compensatory factor.


--Ringo Starr (as Ringo) in A Hard Day's Night

Superintendent: Oh come on now lads, don't be windy, where's that famous pluck?
John: I haven't got any, have you George?
George: Did have.
Paul: I have had.
Ringo: I will have! Lead on!


--Ringo Starr (as Ringo) in Help!

John: [to Ringo whose arm is trapped inside a mail box] What are you doing?
Ringo: Posting a letter.


--Ringo Starr (as Ringo) in Help!

John: Stop dragging things down to your own level, it's immature son.
Ringo: I thought, Well I... I thought she was a sandwich, 'til she went spare on me hand.


--Ringo Starr (as Ringo) in Help!

Casino Manager: Before you go, gentlemen, there's a little matter of the bill.
Norm: I'll take care of that.
[Norm take a look at the bill]
Norm: [shocked] Hundred eighty pounds?
Casino Manager: I beg your pardon. Guineas.
Casino Croupier: Your winnings, my Lord. One hundred and ninety pounds.
[Grandfather is excited, but the manager immediately takes the money from him as payment for the bill]
Grandfather: Where are me change?
Casino Manager: Pilcrim charge.
Ringo: Oh, well. Easy come, easy go.
[Grandfather and Norm angrly look at Ringo]
Ringo: Well?


--Ringo Starr (as Ringo) in A Hard Day's Night

Man on train: Don't take that tone with me, young man. I fought the war for your sort.
Ringo: I bet you're sorry you won.


--Ringo Starr (as Ringo) in A Hard Day's Night

Norm: [sees Paul's grandfather for the first time] Hey...
George, Paul, John, Ringo: [in unison] Who's that little old man?
Norm: Well, who is he?
Ringo: He belongs to Paul.


--Ringo Starr (as Ringo) in A Hard Day's Night

Norm: Now you've got about an hour, but don't leave the theater. Where are you going, John?
John: [with a dancing girl] She's gonna show me her stamp collection.
Paul: [also with a girl] So's mine.
Norm: John, I'm talking to you. This final run-through is important, understand? Important!
[John snorts like a pig, then leaves]
Grandfather: I want a cup of tea!
Norm: Uh, Shake?
Shake: [reaching for a guitar] Um... I've got to adjust the decibels on the imbalance, Norm.
Norm: Clever. George?
[George puts his fingers in his ears]
Norm: Ringo, look after him, will you?
Ringo: Ah, Norm!
Norm: Do I have to raise my voice?
Ringo: All right. Come on, Granddad.
[mumbling]
Ringo: I'm a drummer, not a wet nurse, you know?


--Ringo Starr (as Ringo) in A Hard Day's Night

Hon. Esther Grand: [as all hell breaks loose, aboard the Magic Christian] Youngman, what IS going on?
Youngman Grand, Esq.: [innocently] Ship's concert, I shouldn't wonder.


--Ringo Starr (as ) in The Magic Christian