Wally 'The Fox' Benton: [Looking a beetle-shaped brooch] What I've always wanted... a Japanese beetle!
Carol Lambert: What makes you think it's a Japanese beetle?
Wally 'The Fox' Benton: It's got a yellow belly.


--Red Skelton (as Wally 'The Fox' Benton) in Whistling in Dixie

Wally 'The Fox' Benton: Creeper, I've taken a liking to you, and I'm gonna give you an opportunity to make money. I'm willin' to pay you two thousand bucks for just a little information. Now, it's nothin' important - it's just how do we get outta here. Now, you don't have to worry about gettin' in trouble with the gang because with that kinda dough you can live the life of Riley, and you'll have nothin' to worry about unless Riley comes home, of course. Tou can go where the days seem like weeks, and the weeks seem like years.
Creeper: I've been to Philadelphia.
Wally 'The Fox' Benton: Yeah? Then go to California. California. It's the only place where you can get sunburn and pneumonia at the same time.


--Red Skelton (as Wally 'The Fox' Benton) in Whistling in Brooklyn

Wally 'The Fox' Benton: Don't worry about me - Because that's what I'm doing.


--Red Skelton (as Wally Benton) in Whistling in the Dark

Wally 'The Fox' Benton: I've got cold spines running up and down my chills.


--Red Skelton (as Wally Benton) in Whistling in the Dark

Frank V. Bailie: [threatening Wally with a gun] Git back agin that wall!
Wally 'The Fox' Benton: [cowardly] Thanks. I need something to hold me up.


--Red Skelton (as Wally 'The Fox' Benton) in Whistling in Dixie

Col. Clifford M. Baker: The paper's in the pocket of the boot with the buckle. The map's in the packet in the pocket of the jacket. Understand?
Aubrey Filmore: Hmm?
Col. Clifford M. Baker: And if you get them mixed up, you're a dead goose.
Aubrey Filmore: Oh, well let's see now. The paper's in the pocket of the macket with a jacket, and the . . No, I see, the packet's in the . .


--Red Skelton (as Aubrey Filmore) in A Southern Yankee

Col. Weatherby: Now, if you don't mind, the map, if you please.
Aubrey Filmore: Oh, the map, the map, the map . .
[to himself]
Aubrey Filmore: The map's in the packle of the bucket with the jeckle. No, the jacket's in the buckle of the pocket with the poodle - the boodle.
Col. Weatherby: Major Drummond, the map!
Aubrey Filmore: Yes, the map, the map, the map . .
[to himself]
Aubrey Filmore: The map's in the packle of the bugle with the pickle. No, no. The pocket of the boo - with the bagel. Not the bagel, the bugle, er, the buckle
[aloud]
Aubrey Filmore: That's it, the boot with the buckle.
[He hands over the wrong document]
Aubrey Filmore: I always carry my secret papers in the boot with the buckle. They'd have to kill me to get it, Sir. A soldier always dies with his bookles on, er, his bagels buckled, er, his . . Nice pair of shoes, don't you think?


--Red Skelton (as Aubrey Filmore) in A Southern Yankee

Ginny: Can't you see I love you and want you for the father of my children?
Louis Blore: I didn't know you had any!


--Red Skelton (as Louis Blore / King Louis XV) in Du Barry Was a Lady

Ginny: You never look at me like that.
Louis Blore: You never look like that.


--Red Skelton (as Louis Blore / King Louis XV) in Du Barry Was a Lady

Mildred Trist: Is there another way out of here?
Red Jones: Yeah, out that window, four floors straight down.


--Red Skelton (as ) in The Fuller Brush Man