Moe: [to Curly] Come on, Hydrophobia.


--Moe Howard (as ) in From Nurse to Worse

Moe: [to Curly] I ought to beat your brains in, and I think I will.
[bonks Curly on the head]


--Moe Howard (as ) in Violent is the Word for Curly

Moe: [washing a turkey, singing] Nice little turkey, getting his bath at 7:30, and will be done by 8 o' clooock.
[turkey sprays him]


--Moe Howard (as Moe) in An Ache in Every Stake

Moe: [while "polishing" a man's shoe with Brighto] Remember sir, Brighto! You'll never forget it as long as you live!
[removes the rag to realize that the Brighto has eaten right through the man's shoe]
Moe: And neither will I!


--Moe Howard (as ) in Dizzy Doctors

Moe: [yelling at Shemp] Don't be a chump, you chump!


--Moe Howard (as ) in Three Dark Horses

Moe: A bird in the head is worth two in a bush.


--Moe Howard (as Moe) in A Bird in the Head

Moe: All right, take it easy son, I'd just like to ask you a question, what would you rather have? A shoe full of dollar bills, or two socks of five?


--Moe Howard (as ) in The Hot Scots

Moe: And when they told us the money was yours, you could've knocked us down with a gold bar! And that's the whole story, Mr. President, s'help me!
President Roosevelt: I see. Well, Jimmy, I shall arrange personally for your operation.
Jimmie: Thank you, Mr. President.
President Roosevelt: And as for you gentlemen, in view of the extenuating circumstances, I find it possible to extend to you executive clemency.
Curly: Oh, no! Please, not that!
[Moe stomps his foot]
Curly: Ow!
Moe: Mr. President means we're free!
Curly: No!
Moe: Yeah!
Curly: Gee, Mr. President, you're a swell guy!
Moe: You said it!


--Moe Howard (as ) in Cash and Carry

Moe: Are you married or happy?


--Moe Howard (as Moe) in No Census, No Feeling

Moe: Boy, you got brains like Napoleon.
Larry: Napoleon's dead.
Moe: I know it.


--Moe Howard (as Moe) in No Census, No Feeling