Moe Pink: Don't tell me you've never heard of Link, Mink, and Pink!
Detective: Never heard of them! What do they do?
Moe Pink: We're in the sausage business. Link sausage, Mink sausage, and Pink sausage!


--Moe Howard (as ) in If a Body Meets a Body

Moe: [after a loud crash is heard in the other room, you see Curly with a ladder fallen down on top of him] You lame brain, why don't you be careful when you climb up a ladder?
Curly: I only climbed up seven steps.
Moe: That ladder had six!
[slaps Curly on top of the head]
Smiling Sam McGann: What's going on here?
[Moe and Larry drop the pipes they are holding onto Curly's head]
Smiling Sam McGann: Listen, you jugheads. The lights are still out in my office. I want juice and I want it right away!
Curly: Here you are.
[hands Smiling Sam McGann a wire with the end stripped, McGann holds it and gets electrocuted]
Smiling Sam McGann: Ohhh! Ow! Ohhhhhh! Ow!
[lets go of the wire]
Smiling Sam McGann: You jugheads pick up that stuff and get to work or I'll strangle ya!
[they pick up the pipes and accidentally hit him in the head, knocking him senseless, they guide him through the door]
Moe: We'll take care of everything.
[closes the door]
Moe: Keep smiling, McGann.


--Moe Howard (as ) in Monkey Businessmen

Moe: [Curly is dancing and striking poses with some ostrich feathers] Hey, pin-up boy! Get to work, or I'll pin your ears back.


--Moe Howard (as ) in The Yoke's on Me

Moe: [eye gouges Hitler poster, to Larry] That's Schicklegruber! This place is a rat trap, we've got to get out of here!


--Moe Howard (as ) in They Stooge To Conga

Moe: [Finally fixes leak] Yeah, who said you need brains to be a plumber?


--Moe Howard (as Moe) in A Plumbing We Will Go

Moe: [giving turban to guard who has just been hit with fruit] Your hat.
Palace Guard (inside): Thank you.
Moe: You're welcome.
Palace Guard (inside): [realizes what just happened] Why you-!
[is cut off as Moe gets scared before dropping a vase on his his head]


--Moe Howard (as ) in Malice in the Palace

Moe: [hitting on a waitress at a fancy party] You know, all my life I've dreamed of loving a girl like you.
[Moe closes his eyes, and the waitress takes the opportunity to leave]
Moe: And I never believed in love at first sight until this very minute. Kiss me. Aw, kiss me.
[Curly leans in and kisses Moe]
Curley: Anything else, sir?
Moe: [opening his eyes and seeing Curly] I'm poisoned!


--Moe Howard (as ) in Ants in the Pantry

Moe: [Holding a book] I'll keep this.
Curly Gallstone, Field Marshal: Oh, a bookkeeper.
Moe: Go burn the books.
Larry: Why burn the books?
Moe: There are too many bookmakers. The bookies are overrunning the country. Those are my orders.


--Moe Howard (as ) in You Natzy Spy!

Moe: [in a Japanese accent] And now we do ber bootifur trick! Is carred sree-high! If top man not careful, farring down, spirring brains and brood! Ber bootifur!


--Moe Howard (as ) in No Dough Boys

Moe: [Larry has a bear trap to carry on the Stooges way to the mansion]
[to Larry]
Moe: Hey, what's with the bear trap?
Larry: You never know when we will meet up with a bear.
Moe: Well, meet my bare hand!
[slap]
Moe: Get out!


--Moe Howard (as ) in Ants in the Pantry