Frank:
Dad, let me congratulate you. I'm proud to be your son.
Professor Wagstaff: My boy, you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm ashamed to be your father. You're a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing is possible.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff: My boy, you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm ashamed to be your father. You're a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing is possible.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Frank:
Dad, two of the greatest football players in the country hang out in a speakeasy downtown.
Professor Wagstaff: Are you suggesting that I, the president of Huxley College, go into a speakeasy without even giving me the address?
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff: Are you suggesting that I, the president of Huxley College, go into a speakeasy without even giving me the address?
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Mrs. Teasdale:
Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.
Rufus T. Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Mrs. Teasdale:
Your excellency, the ambassador's here on a friendly visit. He's had a change of heart.
Rufus T. Firefly: A lot of good that'll do him: he's still got the same face.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly: A lot of good that'll do him: he's still got the same face.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Football Coach:
[sees Wagstaff lying in the middle of the field with a cigar] What are you doing with that cigar in your mouth?
Professor Wagstaff: Why? Do you know another way to smoke it?
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff: Why? Do you know another way to smoke it?
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor:
The trustees have a few suggestions they would like to submit to you.
Professor Wagstaff: I think you know what the trustees can do with their suggestions.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff: I think you know what the trustees can do with their suggestions.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
[in canoe]
Professor Wagstaff: I was gonna get a flat bottom but the girl at the boat house didn't have one.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff: I was gonna get a flat bottom but the girl at the boat house didn't have one.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
[Wagstaff's looking in a microscope]
Biology Professor: What do you think of that slide?
Professor Wagstaff: Well, I think he was safe at second, but it was very close.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Biology Professor: What do you think of that slide?
Professor Wagstaff: Well, I think he was safe at second, but it was very close.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Ambassador Trentino: I'm sorry we lost our tempers; I'm willing to forgot if you are.
Rufus T. Firefly: Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets. Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only have to bury them again.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly: Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets. Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only have to bury them again.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Dr. Hackenbush: Ah -- I knew your mother very well. I'll let you in on a little secret. Many, many years ago in the dear, dim past, I proposed to your mother.
Judy: But that's my father!
Dr. Hackenbush: No wonder he turned me down.
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
Judy: But that's my father!
Dr. Hackenbush: No wonder he turned me down.
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
