Professor Wagstaff:
Why don't you go home to your wife? I'll tell you what, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement she'll never know the difference.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff:
Why, I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse!
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff:
You know you've got the brain of a four-year old child, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff:
You know, this is the first time I've been out in a canoe since I saw "The American Tragedy."
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff:
You're heading for a breakdown, why don't you pull yourself to pieces?
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff:
Young man, you'll find as you get older, you can't burn the candle at both ends.
[Harpo pulls out a candle burning at both ends]
Professor Wagstaff: Well, I knew you couldn't burn something at both ends. I thought it was a candle.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
[Harpo pulls out a candle burning at both ends]
Professor Wagstaff: Well, I knew you couldn't burn something at both ends. I thought it was a candle.
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Rufus T. Firefly:
I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly:
Maybe you can suggest something. As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon.
Ambassador Trentino: What?
Rufus T. Firefly: I, uh, I'm sorry I said that; it isn't fair to the rest of the baboons.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Ambassador Trentino: What?
Rufus T. Firefly: I, uh, I'm sorry I said that; it isn't fair to the rest of the baboons.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly:
Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Baravelli:
There's a man outside with a big black moustache.
Professor Wagstaff: Tell him I've got one!
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
Professor Wagstaff: Tell him I've got one!
--Groucho Marx (as Professor Wagstaff) in Horse Feathers
