Mrs. Teasdale:
As chairwoman of the reception committee, I extend the wishes of every man, woman, and child of Freedonia.
Rufus T. Firefly: Never mind that stuff.
[He takes out a deck of cards]
Rufus T. Firefly: Take a card.
Mrs. Teasdale: [as she takes one] Card? What will I do with the card?
Rufus T. Firefly: You can keep it. I've got fifty-one left. Now what were you saying?
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly: Never mind that stuff.
[He takes out a deck of cards]
Rufus T. Firefly: Take a card.
Mrs. Teasdale: [as she takes one] Card? What will I do with the card?
Rufus T. Firefly: You can keep it. I've got fifty-one left. Now what were you saying?
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Mrs. Teasdale:
Oh, your Excellency!
Rufus T. Firefly: You're not so bad yourself.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly: You're not so bad yourself.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Mrs. Upjohn:
[who has been instructed by Dr Hackenbush to wave her arms up and down, as part of a physical examination] How long do you want me to do this, Doctor?
Dr. Hackenbush: Just until you fly away.
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
Dr. Hackenbush: Just until you fly away.
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
Mrs. Upjohn:
Dr. Hackenbush tells me I'm the only case in history. I have high blood pressure on my right side and low blood pressure on my left side.
Dr. Leopold X. Steinberg: There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met.
Dr. Hackenbush: You don't look as though you've ever met a healthy woman.
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
Dr. Leopold X. Steinberg: There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met.
Dr. Hackenbush: You don't look as though you've ever met a healthy woman.
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
Judy:
And do be nice to Mrs. Upjohn, won't you?
Dr. Hackenbush: Well, she's not exactly my type, but for you I'd make love to a crocodile!
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
Dr. Hackenbush: Well, she's not exactly my type, but for you I'd make love to a crocodile!
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
Judy:
If you'll excuse me, I'll go and bring in the rest of the staff.
Dr. Hackenbush: [to Whitmore] Why don't you go out and bring in something. Preferably your resignation.
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
Dr. Hackenbush: [to Whitmore] Why don't you go out and bring in something. Preferably your resignation.
--Groucho Marx (as Dr. Hackenbush) in A Day at the Races
Lassparri:
[costumed as Pagliacci] Now, what have you got to say to me?
Otis B. Driftwood: Just this - can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas?
--Groucho Marx (as Otis B. Driftwood) in A Night at the Opera
Otis B. Driftwood: Just this - can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas?
--Groucho Marx (as Otis B. Driftwood) in A Night at the Opera
Lassparri:
Never in my life have I received such treatment. They threw an apple at me.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, watermelons are out of season.
--Groucho Marx (as Otis B. Driftwood) in A Night at the Opera
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, watermelons are out of season.
--Groucho Marx (as Otis B. Driftwood) in A Night at the Opera
Rita Marlowe:
George, how come you never tried to kiss me before?
George Schmidlap: I never could get close enough.
[turns his head to the camera and raises his eyebrows up and down]
--Groucho Marx (as George Schmidlap) in Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?
George Schmidlap: I never could get close enough.
[turns his head to the camera and raises his eyebrows up and down]
--Groucho Marx (as George Schmidlap) in Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?
Minister of Finance:
Here is the Treasury Department's report, sir. I hope you'll find it clear.
Rufus T. Firefly: Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child could understand this report.
[to Bob Roland]
Rufus T. Firefly: Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly: Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child could understand this report.
[to Bob Roland]
Rufus T. Firefly: Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it.
--Groucho Marx (as Rufus T. Firefly) in Duck Soup
