Duchess Anna of Elberfield: You're a very fortunate young lady, Miss Ellis.
Miss Dorothy Ellis: And a very nervous one. You see, I've never met royalty before. I don't think I'll know how to act. We haven't any royalty in America.
Count Humbert Evel Bruger: Well, I don't want to tell you how to run your country, but that is a mistake. A smart, well-dressed royalty--awfully good for the tourist trade.
Miss Dorothy Ellis: Well, we're getting along...
Count Humbert Evel Bruger: Oh, well...mmm-hmm...well, of course, if you're satisfied just to be 'getting along'!


--Edward Everett Horton (as ) in The King and the Chorus Girl

Mrs. Susan Elliott Potter: Don't tell anyone, but I've got a run in my stocking.
Professor Nick Potter: Good heavens, we're ruined.
[to the butler]
Professor Nick Potter: Not a word of this to a soul.


--Edward Everett Horton (as Professor Nick Potter) in Holiday

Ambassador Popoff: Adamovitch.
Adamovitch: Yes, your excellency?
Ambassador Popoff: Go to my bedroom. In the cabinet, behind his majesty's picture, is a little brown bottle of poison... Throw it away. It's a protective measure.


--Edward Everett Horton (as Ambassador Popoff) in The Merry Widow

Ambassador Popoff: Have you ever had diplomatic relations with a woman?


--Edward Everett Horton (as Ambassador Popoff) in The Merry Widow

François Filiba: Tonsils! Positively tonsils!


--Edward Everett Horton (as François Filiba) in Trouble in Paradise

François Filiba: You know, if I like a man I remember him... and if I don't like him I never forget him.


--Edward Everett Horton (as François Filiba) in Trouble in Paradise

Gov. Don Paquito 'Paquitito': If you catch a man stealing, shoot him. Less trouble afterwards.


--Edward Everett Horton (as ) in The Devil is a Woman

Max Plunkett: Immorality may be fun, but it isn't fun enough to take the place of one hundred percent virtue and three square meals a day.


--Edward Everett Horton (as Max Plunkett) in Design for Living

Messenger 7013: [when asked the location of his earthly assignment by Mr. Jordan] A place called New Jersey, sir - and if it can arranged, I would like a transfer!


--Edward Everett Horton (as Messenger 7013) in Here Comes Mr. Jordan

Messenger 7013: I'm the one who says 'let's go'...


--Edward Everett Horton (as Messenger 7013) in Here Comes Mr. Jordan