'Mac' MacDonald: [showing a new explosive device] It's so new we don't even have a name for it yet.
Matt Helm: [throws the handkerchief to a safe distance, where it explodes upon hitting the ground] Why don't we call it a little bit of hanky panky?


--Dean Martin (as ) in The Wrecking Crew

Yu-Rang: Mr. Helm? Yu-Rang.
Matt Helm: No I didn't. But since you're here, why don't you sit down?


--Dean Martin (as ) in The Wrecking Crew

Alex Flood: Why don't you just leave town the way you came in - tomorrow... about nine or ten o'clock.
Dolan: Whatever is best.
Alex Flood: Nine o'clock - it's earlier.


--Dean Martin (as ) in Rough Night in Jericho

Alex Flood: You killed him, you bury him!


--Dean Martin (as ) in Rough Night in Jericho

David Sloane: Harry, I've had martinis all over the world... and I can safely say... yours are the worst.


--Dean Martin (as ) in How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life

David Sloane: Miss Corman, good-bye. They say that a man forgets pain and remembers pleasure. My memory of you will be a complete blank.


--Dean Martin (as ) in How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life

Dino: [on a cabaret stage, pointing to a show girl] Is this a bit of terrific? Heh? Last night she was banging on my door for 45 minutes!
[pauses]
Dino: But I wouldn't let her out.


--Dean Martin (as ) in Kiss Me, Stupid

Dino: [on a cabaret stage, pretending to be drunk] I have an amazing mother, you know. She is 85 years old and she don't need no glasses.
[pauses]
Dino: She drinks right out of the bottle.


--Dean Martin (as ) in Kiss Me, Stupid

Dino: [responding to an offer to buy the rights for a song] I need another Italian song like a giraffe needs a strep throat.


--Dean Martin (as ) in Kiss Me, Stupid

Dino: Did you hear a story about the girl and the lobster?
Orville J. Spooner: No, how's it go?
Dino: Well, this girl was sittin' in a movie house and this guy sat down next to her, and they were sittin' in the dark, and they were watchin' the picture, see? And suddenly she felt somethin' crawling up her leg and
[pinches Polly]
Dino: pinched her!
Polly the Pistol: [jumping] Ouch!
Orville J. Spooner: Go on!
Dino: Then she felt something crawling again and
[pinches Polly]
Dino: pinched her again! She said, "What is the idea, you pinching me?" And he said, "Well, it wasn't me...
[laughing]
Dino: it was my lobster!"
Orville J. Spooner: [laughing] His lobster?
Dino: He explained it. He said, "A friend of mine gave me a live lobster and I said, 'Gee, that's wonderful, I think I'll take it home for dinner!' He said, 'No, it already had dinner...
[laughing]
Dino: why don't you take it to a movie?'"


--Dean Martin (as ) in Kiss Me, Stupid