Garbage Man: [after Mark rescues Chloe from the back of the garbage truck] Hey you know something? I'll bet that's why Brutus wouldn't let me in the truck, he knew that little pooch was in there.
Mark Garrison: It's certainly looking that way, don't you think, Fran?


--Dean Jones (as ) in The Ugly Dachshund

Fran Garrison: Mark it's hard enough to cater a party for 60 people without that four legged demolition squad around.
Mark Garrison: Demolition squad? Well what about that, that wrecking crew of yours?
[the Daucshunds]


--Dean Jones (as ) in The Ugly Dachshund

Patti Randall: [accent] This is Daphne Hofstedder speaking, of Hofstedder's Jewelry Store, 1833 West Mapleton Avenue.
Zeke Kelso: Yes, Miss Hofstedder, how may I help you?
Patti Randall: [accent] I heard you were looking for information, concerning a certain watch.
Zeke Kelso: Yes, we are.
Patti Randall: [accent] Well, a couple of weeks ago, a woman came into the shop, to buy a band, for her watch. Uh, what was the name? Oh, Miss Margaret Miller.
Zeke Kelso: Margaret Miller? Will you describe this band you sold to Miss Miller?
Patti Randall: [accent] Seventeen jewels, rather rectangular shaped, with raised filigree... things on the face.
Zeke Kelso: Rectangular with raised filigree. Miss Hofstedder, may I ask why you haven't come forward earlier, with this information?
Patti Randall: [accent] Well, I was away on my holiday... to Mexico... on a bus.
Zeke Kelso: Will you be in town, Miss Hofstedder?
Patti Randall: [accent] Yes. I'll be here anytime you want to talk to me, on the phone.
Zeke Kelso: Thank you very much for your information. Goodbye.
[Zeke Kelso then hung up telephone]


--Dean Jones (as ) in That Darn Cat!

Patti Randall: [Canoe was knocking on Patti's front door, while Zeke was being pawprinting DC] Oh, Canoe!
Zeke Kelso: [Zeke Kelso then thought Patti asked Can you?] Can I what?


--Dean Jones (as ) in That Darn Cat!

Patti Randall: Gadzooks, you're bleeding!
Zeke Kelso: Oh, it's nothing, probably just an artery.


--Dean Jones (as ) in That Darn Cat!

Gudger Larkin: Hey Coach! Shockley Just cleared 6' 11. And they're trying for 7 feet!
Steve Walker: Our Shockley?


--Dean Jones (as Steve Walker) in Blackbeard's Ghost

Bice: You used to be a big-track driver, ain't you got no pride?
Jim Douglas: I ran out of pride when I ran out of cars.


--Dean Jones (as Jim Douglas) in The Love Bug

Jim Douglas: [on the phone] Yeah, yeah, Thorndyke. I know what you did to my car. You need your brains kicked out.


--Dean Jones (as Jim Douglas) in The Love Bug

Jim Douglas: Has everybody gone nuts around here? I can understand how Tennessee feels, he's just in off a flying saucer.


--Dean Jones (as Jim Douglas) in The Love Bug

Jim Douglas: I may be kidding myself, but I think I can make something out of that sad little bucket of bolts.


--Dean Jones (as Jim Douglas) in The Love Bug