Arthur Turner: Any psychoanalyst who would take a woman for a patient should consult a psychoanalyst.


--Dan Dailey (as ) in Oh, Men! Oh, Women!

Arthur Turner: How do you like that guy? Leaving you alone here with me. Me, the veteran of a thousand slaps. He must figure he's really in solid.


--Dan Dailey (as ) in Oh, Men! Oh, Women!

Billy Campbell: One more, bottlekeeper!
Billy Campbell: [finishes the drink in front of him] Better make it two!
Billy Campbell: [noticing the bartender's impatience] We keeping you up?
Bartender: Yes, sir!
Billy Campbell: [sarcastically] The wages of gin!


--Dan Dailey (as Billy Campbell) in Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man

Doug Hallerton: Somebody stole my moustache. Fielding, I want that moustache returned, every hair in place.


--Dan Dailey (as Doug Hallerton) in It's Always Fair Weather

Doug Hallerton: There must be some more dignified way to sell Klenzrite... like you, taking a bath in it, stark naked in Macy's window.


--Dan Dailey (as Doug Hallerton) in It's Always Fair Weather

Kansas: The name's Kansas. I'm so popular, they named a state after me.


--Dan Dailey (as ) in Timber!

William 'Bill' Kluggs: Somehow that stop-off at Loring Field began to stretch out like a visiting mother-in-law.


--Dan Dailey (as ) in When Willie Comes Marching Home

William 'Bill' Kluggs: The War went on, and I didn't. They shipped soldiers east, and they shipped 'em west, but you'd have thought I had a long-term lease.


--Dan Dailey (as ) in When Willie Comes Marching Home

Yvonne Le Tete: You don't feel so good, Willie, do you?
William 'Bill' Kluggs: Yeah, I don't feel so good!
Yvonne Le Tete: Mal-de-tete?
William 'Bill' Kluggs: Yeah, and I got a headache too!


--Dan Dailey (as ) in When Willie Comes Marching Home

Molly Donahue: [speaking of their children] I want them to have an education... a real education. They have to learn arithmetic and spelling and geography.
Terence Donahue: You never went past the sixth grade... and it was probably the fourth grade, because you said it was the sixth.
Molly Donahue: My age is the only thing I lie about, and I don't add on, I take off.
Terence Donahue: All right, the sixth grade, but there's nothing wrong with your arithmetic. You can whistle 'Mandy', do an 'Off to Buffalo', and count the house at the same time, and tell me within five cents how much is out there.
Molly Donahue: That's not arithmetic.
Terence Donahue: You're darn right that's not... that's higher mathematics.


--Dan Dailey (as Terence Donahue) in There's No Business Like Show Business