Mitch Evers: [entering the dining room to see an empty table] Hey, uh, what happened to dinner?
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': Oh, dinner's being served on the patio tonight.
Mitch Evers: Oh, whose idea is that?
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': It's none of my nevermind. I don't say a word.
Mitch Evers: [turning to leave; deadpan] I know, you never say a word to anyone.


--Brian Keith (as Mitch Evers) in The Parent Trap

Mitch Evers: Would you mind putting on something decent?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: I'm dressed perfectly decent.
Mitch Evers: Yeah, running around in my bathrobe. The priest could come in here any minute, it looks like we just...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Like we what?
Mitch Evers: Just go upstairs and put on some clothes!


--Brian Keith (as Mitch Evers) in The Parent Trap

Police Chief Link Mattocks: I thought all the nuts went home on Labor Day.


--Brian Keith (as Police Chief Link Mattocks) in The Russians Are Coming the Russians Are Coming

The Director: Mark.
Mark McCain: Yes, sir?
The Director: Put on the mask. Put it on.
Mark McCain: You mean...
The Director: Yes, I mean put on the mask.
[hands Mark the Lone Ranger mask]


--Brian Keith (as ) in The Gambler Returns: The Luck of the Draw

The Director: They've sent us another actor over here who can't even ride.
Mark McCain: Well, they all say that they can't wear the mask and ride at the same time.
The Director: That doesn't matter. The sun is out.


--Brian Keith (as ) in The Gambler Returns: The Luck of the Draw

The Westerner: Well, sir, the end of the west is near.


--Brian Keith (as ) in The Gambler Returns: The Luck of the Draw

Yellowleg: You don't know me well enough to hate me that much. Hating is a subject I know a little something about. You got to be careful it don't bite you back. I know somebody who spent five years looking for a man he hated. Hating and wanting revenge was all that kept him alive. He spent all those years tracking that other man down, and when he caught up with him, it was the worst day of his life. He'd get his revenge all right, but then he'd lose the one thing he had to live for.


--Brian Keith (as ) in The Deadly Companions

Martha Evans: It would never be like Herefordshire.
Alexander Bowen: Aye, and it's not like Scotland.


--Brian Keith (as Alexander Bowen) in The Rare Breed

Martha Evans: Time for me to admit that this is longhorn country; that you're its lord and master?
Alexander Bowen: A man in love is neither lord nor master of himself.


--Brian Keith (as Alexander Bowen) in The Rare Breed

Alice Foss, Telephone Operator: Well, I'm sorry to bother you, Chief Mattocks, but I just had a call from Muriel Everett.
Police Chief Link Mattocks: What is it, what's she want?
Alice Foss, Telephone Operator: She was shouting that I should call you, because according to her - well, Muriel said the Russians have landed!
Police Chief Link Mattocks: Want to give me that again, Alice?
Alice Foss, Telephone Operator: Muriel said the Russians have landed, whatever that means, Chief. And she said they were attacking her personally!
Police Chief Link Mattocks: Remember last time, when she called about that Peeping Tom - you know who that was, don't you? It was that Luther Grilk's horse.


--Brian Keith (as Police Chief Link Mattocks) in The Russians Are Coming the Russians Are Coming