Col. Shuffle: Why did you dunk my poor old hide in Old Man River, when I bought a low seat?


--Billy Bletcher (as Col. Shuffle) in Mississippi Hare

Detective: [Arrives right after the victim's murder] Who 'dunit? Everybody stay where you are!
[Someone in the peanut gallery gets up and starts walking. The detectives sees him and hits him with a baseball bat]
Detective: That goes for you too, bub!


--Billy Bletcher (as ) in Who Killed Who?

Father: Enough is too much! Out of my house, you hotcha! You crooner! You falsetto! You jazz singer! You... you... you...
[Closes door; then opens it again]
Father: Phooey!


--Billy Bletcher (as Father) in I Love to Singa

King Midas: [singing] I'm known as Rich King Midas / And when you look at me / You'll see a king / Who knows a thing / About his treasury / I never cared for women / I've never cared for wine / But when I count / A large amount / Of money - Ha ha! - It's divine / Gold, gold, gold! / I worship it, I love it / Gold, gold, gold! / I wish I had more of it / My love for shining gold is such / That I could never have too much / I wish that everything I touched / Would turn to gold, gold gold!


--Billy Bletcher (as ) in The Golden Touch

King Midas: [to his reflection] Hail, Midas. Ha ha ha! Thou, rascal, thou. Shall we turn the Earth to gold? The rivers, the mountains, the stars, the moon, the sky... a universe of gold!


--Billy Bletcher (as ) in The Golden Touch

King Midas: [to his reflection] Is the richest king in all the world to starve to death?
[Reflection turns into a skeleton and nods]


--Billy Bletcher (as ) in The Golden Touch

King Midas: Who art thou, stranger?
Goldie: A friend. Just call me Goldie.
King Midas: What do you want? My gold?
Goldie: I, want that paltry gold? Ha ha! 'Tis like chicken feed to me. Behold!
[Touches Midas' cat and turns it to gold]
King Midas: The golden touch!
[Grabs the gold cat, but Goldie stops him and turns the cat back to normal]
King Midas: My gold! My kingdom! Everything for the golden touch!
[Starts taking off his coat]
Goldie: Keep thy shirt on, old king. To you the golden touch would prove a golden curse.
King Midas: A curse? A curse? Ha! Then curse me with the golden touch! Ha ha ha ha!
Goldie: Ah, but gold is the snare of the soul. Gold is the root of all evil. Gold is the...
King Midas: Fiddlesticks! Give me gold, not advice.
Goldie: So be it. I gave thee advise. Now I give thee gold. The golden touch is thine. Toodle-oo!


--Billy Bletcher (as ) in The Golden Touch

Lawyer Goodwill: [after drinking the Jekyll and Hyde juice] You wouldn't think I was lawyer Goodwill now, would you? I'm going to get rid of those pigs, and you can't help them, either! You bunch of softies! Yeah, you in the third row, you big softie!


--Billy Bletcher (as Lawyer Goodwill) in The Case Of The Stuttering Pig

Lawyer Goodwill: You see, if anything happened to you, I would get all this property. However, nothing will happen.
[Exits, then peeks back again]
Lawyer Goodwill: I hope.


--Billy Bletcher (as Lawyer Goodwill) in The Case Of The Stuttering Pig

Pierre: Pierre! She is FURIOUS!


--Billy Bletcher (as Pierre) in Timber