Woody Allen
(as Victor)
Victor Skakapopulis:
I just burnt my finger! I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream. I'll be out in a minute.
Woody Allen
(as Victor)
Woody Allen
(as Victor)
Victor Skakapopulis:
We played strip chess. She had me down to my shorts and I fainted from tension.
Peter Sellers
(as Dr. Fritz Fassbender)
Dr. Fritz Fassbender:
[leafing through a dictionary] "Lascivious adulterer... a man who is a lascivious adulterer"? What kind of book is this?
Peter Sellers
(as Dr. Fritz Fassbender)
Dr. Fritz Fassbender:
I am a doctor of the mind.
Victor Skakapopulis: Really?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Yes!
Victor Skakapopulis: I have terrible emotional problems. Could you help me?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: You certainly picked a very odd time to ask me, just in the middle of a suicide.
Victor Skakapopulis: Really?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Yes!
Victor Skakapopulis: I have terrible emotional problems. Could you help me?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: You certainly picked a very odd time to ask me, just in the middle of a suicide.
Peter Sellers
(as Dr. Fritz Fassbender)
Dr. Fritz Fassbender:
I, uh, decided to follow you here.
Michael James: If you followed me here, how did you contrive to be here before me?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I followed you... very fast.
Michael James: If you followed me here, how did you contrive to be here before me?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I followed you... very fast.
Peter Sellers
(as Dr. Fritz Fassbender)
Dr. Fritz Fassbender:
I'll see you next Friday - I've got a few phone calls to make.
Michael James: But I haven't finished - I've only been here fifteen minutes.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I can't take more than fifteen minutes of your sex life at one time.
Michael James: But I haven't finished - I've only been here fifteen minutes.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I can't take more than fifteen minutes of your sex life at one time.
Peter Sellers
(as Dr. Fritz Fassbender)
Peter Sellers
(as Dr. Fritz Fassbender)
Dr. Fritz Fassbender:
If it fails, then we'll try something else, because I use all kinds of unorthodox methods. For example, I've had the greatest success shutting people in dark closets.
Peter Sellers
(as Dr. Fritz Fassbender)
Dr. Fritz Fassbender:
May I explain that what you see happening here is merely an illusion...
Anna Fassbender: An illusion?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: An illusion. Shut the door, count three...
Anna Fassbender: Three?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Four, if you like, but close the door and you'll see it's just an illusion.
Anna Fassbender: An illusion?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: An illusion. Shut the door, count three...
Anna Fassbender: Three?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Four, if you like, but close the door and you'll see it's just an illusion.
