[Mike discovers the intercom in the Lords' house]
Macaulay Connor: Uh-oh, Liz, what did I tell you? Look, how do you like this - living room, sitting room, terrace, pool, stables.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: That's probably so they can talk to the horses without having them in the house.

C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...?
Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Hello friends and enemies.
Uncle Willie: Young man, remove yourself!
C. K. Dexter Haven: How are you, sir?
Uncle Willie: I don't know. Get along! Get along!

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.

C. K. Dexter Haven: The moon is also a goddess, chaste and virginal.
Tracy Lord: Stop using those foul words.

Macaulay Connor: [speaking of Tracy] What are her leading characteristics?
C. K. Dexter Haven: She has a horror of men who wear their hats in the house.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Leading characteristics to be filled in later.
Macaulay Connor: I can fill them in right now: the rich, rapacious, American female. There's no other country where she exists.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: And would I change places with Tracy Samantha Lord for all her wealth and beauty? Oh boy just ask me.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: We've come for the body of Macaulay Connor.
C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm so glad you came. Can you use a typewriter?
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: No, thanks, I've got one at home.