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Bob Hope

Bob Hope
(as Larry Lawrence)

Raspy Kelly: He's drivin' his car, see? Another car comes along, runs him into a ditch. Marky gets all smashed up.
Larry Lawrence: When did it happen?
Larry Lawrence: Well, I can't tell you exactly, but it'll probably be tomorrow.

Bob Hope

Bob Hope
(as Larry Lawrence)

Raspy Kelly: They don't mind a little publicity. They kinda like it.
Larry Lawrence: I know. I plug them, and they'll plug me.

Bob Hope

Bob Hope
(as Larry Lawrence)

Geoff Montgomery: It's worse than horrible because a zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.
Larry Lawrence: You mean like Democrats?

Willie Best

Willie Best
(as Alex)

Alex: A lot of folks don't like you, boss. I expect some of these mornings when I come to get you outta the bed, I'll have to pull the sheet up instead of down.

Willie Best

Willie Best
(as Alex)

Alex: Hey, boss, you ain't goin' upstairs, are ya? Where those ghosts is?
Larry Lawrence: Listen, you stay there, and if a couple a fellas come runnin' down the stairs in a few minutes, let the first one go. That'll be me.
Alex: If somebody passes you, that'll be me.


Willie Best

Willie Best
(as Alex)

Alex: I just love talking to luggage. I used to be a porter.

Bob Hope

Bob Hope
(as Larry Lawrence)

Alex: Is that a mummy?
Larry Lawrence: Yes, it's her great-great-great grand-mummy.

Bob Hope

Bob Hope
(as Larry Lawrence)

Larry Lawrence: [about Alex] He sees the dark side of everything. He was born during an eclipse.

Bob Hope

Bob Hope
(as Larry Lawrence)

Larry Lawrence: [the power goes out in the storm] Basil Rathbone must be having a party.

Bob Hope

Bob Hope
(as Larry Lawrence)

Larry Lawrence: [to Alex] Oh, you look like a black out in a blackout. This keeps up, I'm gonna have to paint you white.

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