Schoolteacher: What is a blizzard?
Stanley: A blizzard? A blizzard is the inside of a buzzard.
Schoolteacher: Fresh, huh?

Schoolteacher: You spell "Needle"!
Oliver: [pause] N-E-I-D-L-E.
Schoolteacher: There is no "I" in needle!
Stanley: Then it's a rotten needle.

[last lines]
Warden: My boys, and you are my boys, I hold in my hand the pardons for both of you. This is the state's gesture in showing it's appreciation of your bravery. It was the firing of the signal shots in the mess hall that saved us from a disaster of cataclysmic dimensions.
[Stan and Ollie stare blankly; Warden hands them their pardons]
Oliver: Thank you, sir.
Warden: Now go, begin life a new. Forget this. Let this episode here be just a hiatus to be obliterated from your memory. And don't forget that I'm your friend. Anything that I can do to help you start where you left off, call on me at any time.
Oliver: Thank you.
[to Stan]
Oliver: We'll start all over again.
Stanley: We certainly will.
[to Warden]
Stanley: Can we take your order for a couple of cases?
[tooth buzzes]
Warden: Why you...!
[Stan and Ollie run from the office; screen fades to black; "THE END" appears on screen]