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Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Miss January: Well what shall I do with the costume?
Matt Helm: Drop it in the ashtray.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Billy Orcutt: I demand an explanation. What is the meaning of this nocturnal assignation?
Matt Helm aka Jim Peters: Is he rehearsing for a play?

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Suzie Solaris: [as they're being picked up by helicopter, Suzie pulls down Matt's pants to reveal his shorts] Polka dot shorts?
Matt Helm aka Jim Peters: It's the only way to fly.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Suzie Solaris: He's yawing!
Matt Helm: I don't feel so good myself.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Slaygirl: We're here if you need us.
Matt Helm aka Jim Peters: I got the wife with me!


Karl Malden

Karl Malden

Julian Wall: [answering one of Coco's taunts] You can be such an angel. And I may arrange it.

Karl Malden

Karl Malden

Julian Wall: [hands over some photographs] These gentlemen have ceased to amuse me. Still their voices forever.
Ironhead: What?
Julian Wall: Kill them!

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Julian Wall: Men of good will have done a perfectly dreadful job of running the world. Perhaps it's time for a change. Admit it, I can't do much worse.
Matt Helm aka Jim Peters: Oh, I think you can. I have faith in you.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Julian Wall: Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't drop you to the ground?
Matt Helm aka Jim Peters: Certainly, I'll get killed.

Karl Malden

Karl Malden

Julian Wall: Well gentlemen, the dream has come true.
[snickers]
Julian Wall: And not just for Republicans. We will control the most powerful bomb in the universe: the sun!

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