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Jack Carson

Jack Carson
(as Wally Fay)

Wally: There's something about the sound of my own voice that fascinates me.
Jack Carson

Jack Carson
(as Wally Fay)

Wally: You know, this is a pretty big night for you.
Policeman #1: Yeah?
Wally: Yeah, lots of excitement. There's a stiff in there!
Policeman #1: Is that so? Oh and I suppose you were running right down to the station to report it?
Wally: [forced laugh]
Policeman #1: Yeah...
[to partner]
Policeman #1: Say, he say's there's a dead guy in the house.
Policeman #2: You never saw a deader.
Jack Carson

Jack Carson
(as Wally Fay)

Wally: You know, you keep on refusing me, and one of these days I'm going to start thinking you're stubborn.
Eve Arden

Eve Arden
(as Ida Corwin)

Ida: [to leering customer Wally] Leave something on me - I might catch cold.
Eve Arden

Eve Arden
(as Ida Corwin)

Ida: I like Mexico; it's so... Mexican.
Eve Arden

Eve Arden
(as Ida Corwin)

Ida: Laughing boy seems slightly burned at the edges. What's eating him?
Mildred: A small green-eyed monster.
Ida: Jealous? That doesn't sound like Wally. No profit in it - and there's a boy who loves a dollar.
Eve Arden

Eve Arden
(as Ida Corwin)

Ida: Oh, men. I never yet met one of them that didn't have the instincts of a heel. Sometimes I wish I could get along without them.
Eve Arden

Eve Arden
(as Ida Corwin)

Ida: Personally, Veda's convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.
Eve Arden

Eve Arden
(as Ida Corwin)

Ida: What is this, a class reunion?
Eve Arden

Eve Arden
(as Ida Corwin)

Ida: When men get around me, they get allergic to wedding rings.
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