Tim Ryan: [as he's being operated on] DAMN IT TO BLOODY CONFEDERATE HELL!
Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: WHAT?
Tim Ryan: Sorry.
Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: He's alright, Reverend. He'll live forever and have a hundred children. But if you find that you have a weakness for being shot in that vicinity, I suggest you wear an iron plate in your pants.

Tim Ryan: [observing the body of Sierra Charriba] He looks so small, now.
Maj. Amos Dundee: He was big enough, son.

Sgt. Gomez: [as the survivor's command emerges from the river] All present and accounted for, sir.
Maj. Amos Dundee: Lieutenant Graham.
Lt. Graham: Yes, sir?
Maj. Amos Dundee: Column of twos.
Lt. Graham: Column of twos!
Maj. Amos Dundee: [to Ryan] Play us a tune, son.

Aesop: [observing the French troops] My outfit could lick those boys - those ones on foot, anyway. With one hand tied behind our backs.
O.W. Hadley: How's that, Aesop?
Aesop: They're soft, O.W. - they ain't never been South.

Aesop: Sir. I'd like to volunteer, sir. Me and my six coloreds.
Maj. Amos Dundee: I haven't asked for volunteers from the command yet.
Aesop: We're the ones doing the asking, sir.
Maj. Amos Dundee: Why?
Aesop: To fight, sir. We've been standing guard and cleaning stables for nearly two years now.
Maj. Amos Dundee: Tomorrow, you ask the officer of the day to see me... you and your six coloreds.
Aesop: [salutes Dundee] Thank you, sir.

Wiley: [during the fight between Dahlstrom and Benteen] Boy, you sure do kick up a lot of dust with your sermon, Reverend!

Wiley: If you're lookin' for hard-ridin', Injun-fightin' whiskey drinkin' mulepackers, then by *God* you've got one!
Maj. Amos Dundee: What in the hell am I supposed to do with you?
Sgt. Gomez: He's the biggest drunk, but the best mule packer in the Territory, sir.
Maj. Amos Dundee: What's your name?
Wiley: Wiley.
Maj. Amos Dundee: All right, Wiley. Make your mark.
Wiley: Whiskey?
Maj. Amos Dundee: All you can drink...
[Wiley signs the contract]
Maj. Amos Dundee: ...when you've earned it. Sergeant, take him to a cell and dry him out.
[Sergeant Gomez escorts Wiley out of the room]
Wiley: Well! I ain't never seen anything like this before!

Arthur Hadley: [Arthur and a few others are bathing in a spring] Come on in, O.W.!
O.W. Hadley: I already took my bath!

Arthur Hadley: [Tyreen and his escaped men are brought back into the fort as Dundee orders the garrison to assemble] They're gonna throw us a party, Captain.
Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: It sure looks like it.

Maj. Amos Dundee: [after a battle, Dundee comes across Wiley, bleeding from a head wound] Wiley, are you hit?
Wiley: No, sir. My damned mule kicked me.