Jeff Bidwell: [tying his neck-tie] There are three things in this world that nobody can do for you. One is brush your hair, one is tie your tie...
Terwilliger: And the third?
Jeff Bidwell: You guessed!

Jeff Bidwell: Careful, Mike; careful! You are speaking of the lady I almost loved.
Terwilliger: The dames *you've* almost loved would read from here to Chicago--laid end to end.
Jeff Bidwell: [thinks this over a moment] What a...quaint expression.

Jeff Bidwell: Well, Mona! How are you feeling this morning? Or have you any feelings left?
Mona: Oh, I feel swell! Gee, it's great to have people treat you so nice--you know, have your hair washed for you and your back rubbed.
Jeff Bidwell: Yes, but you will never know the exquisite pleasure of a nice, fresh shave.