Ethel Merman
(as Mrs. Marcus)
Ding Bell:
Ah, this is hopeless. We're gonna get noplace if we're gonna continue listening to this old bag.
Benjy Benjamin: What are you trying to do, lady? You trying to split us up so it becomes every man for himself?
Ding Bell: ...And every woman for HIMself?
Mrs. Marcus: One more funny remark from you, buster...
Benjy Benjamin: What are you trying to do, lady? You trying to split us up so it becomes every man for himself?
Ding Bell: ...And every woman for HIMself?
Mrs. Marcus: One more funny remark from you, buster...
Buddy Hackett
(as Benjy Benjamin)
Ding Bell:
Hey. It's that hokey dentist.
Benjy Benjamin: Yeah.
Ding Bell: Pass that cab.
Second cab driver: What's the rush?
Ding Bell: What do you mean rush?
Benjy Benjamin: We ain't in any rush, we just wanna get there in a hurry.
Benjy Benjamin: Yeah.
Ding Bell: Pass that cab.
Second cab driver: What's the rush?
Ding Bell: What do you mean rush?
Benjy Benjamin: We ain't in any rush, we just wanna get there in a hurry.
Buddy Hackett
(as Benjy Benjamin)
Ding Bell:
You see our grandmother lives in Rosita Beach, see, and she's dying and she kinda like to have us be with her when she goes.
Benjy Benjamin: Otherwise she won't go.
[Bell bumps him]
Benjy Benjamin: Uh, she'll go!
Benjy Benjamin: Otherwise she won't go.
[Bell bumps him]
Benjy Benjamin: Uh, she'll go!
Jonathan Winters
(as Lennie Pike)
Jonathan Winters
(as Lennie Pike)
Lennie Pike:
[furious] So! So someone will "stumble over the little girl's bicycle in the dark", huh? Well when I'm finished with *you*, they'll be stumbling over *YOU* in the *dark*!
Milton Berle
(as J. Russell Finch)
Lennie Pike:
[Otto Meyer drives by] That's him! That's him! I tell you, when I catch you, I'll kill you! I tell you, I'll kill you, you dirty *robber*!
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Someone you know?
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Someone you know?
Jonathan Winters
(as Lennie Pike)
Lennie Pike:
*Everybody* pays taxes!- Even businessmen, who rob and cheat and steal from people everyday, even *they* have to pay *taxes*!
Ethel Merman
(as Mrs. Marcus)
Lennie Pike:
All right lady, are you gonna get out or am I gonna have to throw you out?
Emmeline Finch: Oh please Mr. Pike, don't get upset.
Mrs. Marcus: He's not gonna do anything! Drive on, ya big stupid idiot!
Emmeline Finch: Oh please Mr. Pike, don't get upset.
Mrs. Marcus: He's not gonna do anything! Drive on, ya big stupid idiot!
Jonathan Winters
(as Lennie Pike)
Lennie Pike:
And then they decide I'm supposed to get a smaller share, like I'm someone extra special stupid. Even if it is a democracy, in a democracy it don't matter how stupid you are, you still get an equal share.
Buddy Hackett
(as Benjy Benjamin)
Lennie Pike:
It's buried under a big W. Say, what is a big W?
Ding Bell: When we find out, we'll send you a 'Wire'.
Benjy Benjamin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ding Bell: When we find out, we'll send you a 'Wire'.
Benjy Benjamin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.