Porky Watkins:
Er, tell me, Holmes - at what school did you learn to be a detective?
Dorlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watkins, elementary.
Dorlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watkins, elementary.
Porky Watkins:
N-now look, old boy. H-How's about returning to prison? There's a good chap.
Shropshire Slasher: Yes, sir. I want to do what's right, I do.
Shropshire Slasher: Yes, sir. I want to do what's right, I do.
Porky Watkins:
Name? Speak up, old boy.
Shropshire Slasher: Shropshire Slasher.
Porky Watkins: Occupation?
Shropshire Slasher: Shropshire Slasher.
Shropshire Slasher: Shropshire Slasher.
Porky Watkins: Occupation?
Shropshire Slasher: Shropshire Slasher.
Dorlock Holmes:
Lady Asthabula, the last time we met was at Ascot, was it not? Ascot not.
[as he kisses her hand, he takes her finger prints]
Dorlock Holmes: Oh, you're still a fine figure of a woman.
[Examines fingerprints]
Dorlock Holmes: Egad! These look like a woman's fingerprints. Could it be possible that the Shropshire Slasher is really a...
Woman: Oh, Alfie, this cove's annoying me.
Alfie: [At the dart board] Oh, is he, now?
Dorlock Holmes: Oho! Alfie, is it? Where was you on the night of the...
[Is pelted with darts]
Dorlock Holmes: Well, he has eliminated him as a suspect.
[as he kisses her hand, he takes her finger prints]
Dorlock Holmes: Oh, you're still a fine figure of a woman.
[Examines fingerprints]
Dorlock Holmes: Egad! These look like a woman's fingerprints. Could it be possible that the Shropshire Slasher is really a...
Woman: Oh, Alfie, this cove's annoying me.
Alfie: [At the dart board] Oh, is he, now?
Dorlock Holmes: Oho! Alfie, is it? Where was you on the night of the...
[Is pelted with darts]
Dorlock Holmes: Well, he has eliminated him as a suspect.
Dorlock Holmes:
Watkins, in a moment there'll be a knock at the door heralding the start of the case of the Shropshire Slasher. Answer it. My pants are caught in a nail.
Shropshire Slasher's Mother:
Care to buy some pretty pretties for your doxie, Gov'nor?
Dorlock Holmes: That does it! I'm gonna haul you in. Hawking dandelions without a license.
Shropshire Slasher: Mother!
Dorlock Holmes: Mother? Mother? Really?
[Shropshire Slasher beats up Holmes]
Dorlock Holmes: That does it! I'm gonna haul you in. Hawking dandelions without a license.
Shropshire Slasher: Mother!
Dorlock Holmes: Mother? Mother? Really?
[Shropshire Slasher beats up Holmes]
Shropshire Slasher:
I told the nice gen'lman I'd give meself up now, mother.
Shropshire Slasher's Mother: You always was a good boy, Slasher.
Shropshire Slasher's Mother: You always was a good boy, Slasher.
[as Watkins opens the door, the telegram boy falls]
Dorlock Holmes: Don't touch that body! A clear case of Karrer poisoning of one of Her Majesty's cold cream guards.
Telegram Boy: [Gets up] Telegram. You'd best have that step fixed, Gov'nor!
Dorlock Holmes: Just for that, you receive no gratuity.
Dorlock Holmes: Don't touch that body! A clear case of Karrer poisoning of one of Her Majesty's cold cream guards.
Telegram Boy: [Gets up] Telegram. You'd best have that step fixed, Gov'nor!
Dorlock Holmes: Just for that, you receive no gratuity.
