Dick Van Dyke
(as Albert F. Peterson)
Albert Peterson:
[singing] Oh one last kiss... there never was such bliss... I love your dentifrice!
Paul Lynde
(as Harry McAfee)
Kim McAfee:
Harry, do you have a cigarette? I've run out.
Harry McAfee: So have I, how 'bout my pipe?
Harry McAfee: So have I, how 'bout my pipe?
Paul Lynde
(as Harry McAfee)
Harry McAfee:
I know that showbiz type! I never told you this, but one summer I worked with the circus... all those midgets... WILD! They're probably livin' in sin.
Doris McAfee: Harry Lionel McAfee!
Harry McAfee: They've been engaged for six years. Don't tell me they haven't...
Doris McAfee: We were engaged for five years.
Harry McAfee: He's not as stupid as I was.
Doris McAfee: Harry Lionel McAfee!
Harry McAfee: They've been engaged for six years. Don't tell me they haven't...
Doris McAfee: We were engaged for five years.
Harry McAfee: He's not as stupid as I was.
Paul Lynde
(as Harry McAfee)
Paul Lynde
(as Harry McAfee)
Harry McAfee:
No matter how many millions I make selling Speed-Up, I'll still be the same humble, lovable guy I always was. And if any of those hicks try to push me around, I'll break 'em.
Paul Lynde
(as Harry McAfee)
Paul Lynde
(as Harry McAfee)
Doris McAfee:
You know these adolescents! Kim'll lose face!
Harry McAfee: And if I don't get him out that's not all she'll...
Harry McAfee: And if I don't get him out that's not all she'll...
Paul Lynde
(as Harry McAfee)
[after Kim has dyed her hair]
Harry McAfee: You dare defy your mother?
Kim McAfee: Well, it's my hair.
Harry McAfee: Not till you're 21!
Harry McAfee: You dare defy your mother?
Kim McAfee: Well, it's my hair.
Harry McAfee: Not till you're 21!
Paul Lynde
(as Harry McAfee)
Dick Van Dyke
(as Albert F. Peterson)
Mae Peterson:
Now, don't try to pay me back, son. I forgive you. So what if you're an ingrate? So long as you're happy.
Albert Peterson: I don't wanna be happy!
Albert Peterson: I don't wanna be happy!
