Prof. Robert O. Sutwell:
[flying DeeDee in his plane] Dolores, this is a great little plane, it will do anything.
Dolores: Will it land?
Dolores: Will it land?
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell:
[helping DeeDee out of the plane] Will I see you tomorrow?
Dolores: Only if they allow me visitors.
Dolores: Only if they allow me visitors.
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell:
Marianne, this book will be my triumph.
Marianne: And you'll never get it though the mail. But hang on to the picture rights, I'm sure American International will snap it up in a minute.
Marianne: And you'll never get it though the mail. But hang on to the picture rights, I'm sure American International will snap it up in a minute.
Eric Von Zipper:
Ah, Professor?
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Yes, Mr. Von Zipper?
Eric Von Zipper: I wonder if we could talk for a minute?
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: You mean like palaver?
Eric Von Zipper: We could do that, too.
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Yes, Mr. Von Zipper?
Eric Von Zipper: I wonder if we could talk for a minute?
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: You mean like palaver?
Eric Von Zipper: We could do that, too.
Eric Von Zipper:
Look, nobody tells Eric Von Zipper nothin'!
J.D.: That's right, nobody tells Eric Von Zipper nothin'!
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Who are you?
J.D.: J.D.
Eric Von Zipper: That's short for "Juvenile Delinquent."
J.D.: That's right, nobody tells Eric Von Zipper nothin'!
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Who are you?
J.D.: J.D.
Eric Von Zipper: That's short for "Juvenile Delinquent."
Cappy:
Can I ask you something, Professor? Are you studying these kids sex lives, or you getting involved in it?
Cappy:
Just one thing, Professor, will you level with me? What's with the feather duster? The beard? You think it moves the chicks?
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: No, it usually works the other way.
Cappy: I don't dig. You don't want to level with me?
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: All right, I'll level with you. When I first started out at Harvard, I was the youngest professor at the university. I was so young that it was sickening. No one took me seriously. Every time when I opened my mouth to speak, my students laughed, the other professors laughed, even the janitors laughted. Well, I knew it couldn't go on for long before I would be fired by the dean who did not want a professor that his students didn't take seriously. So one day at lunch, I sat down in the student cafeteria and presented my problem to this old professor friend of mine. And without even glancing up from his soup, he said to me: "buy yourself a pair of glasses and grow a beard." So you see, all of this is just 18 years of professor windowdressing.
Cappy: Amazing how our lives parallel. You have that, and I have this.
[points to the goatee on his chin]
Cappy: You know why I grew this? I got a dimple in my chin and I didn't want anyone mistaking me for Kirk Douglas.
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: But you don't look anything like Kirk Douglas.
Cappy: See? It works.
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: No, it usually works the other way.
Cappy: I don't dig. You don't want to level with me?
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: All right, I'll level with you. When I first started out at Harvard, I was the youngest professor at the university. I was so young that it was sickening. No one took me seriously. Every time when I opened my mouth to speak, my students laughed, the other professors laughed, even the janitors laughted. Well, I knew it couldn't go on for long before I would be fired by the dean who did not want a professor that his students didn't take seriously. So one day at lunch, I sat down in the student cafeteria and presented my problem to this old professor friend of mine. And without even glancing up from his soup, he said to me: "buy yourself a pair of glasses and grow a beard." So you see, all of this is just 18 years of professor windowdressing.
Cappy: Amazing how our lives parallel. You have that, and I have this.
[points to the goatee on his chin]
Cappy: You know why I grew this? I got a dimple in my chin and I didn't want anyone mistaking me for Kirk Douglas.
Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: But you don't look anything like Kirk Douglas.
Cappy: See? It works.
Cappy:
Not you again.
Eric Von Zipper: Yep, it's me.
Cappy: I though maybe you'd skip us this year.
Eric Von Zipper: I like you. And when Eric Von Zipper likes someone, they stay liked.
Eric Von Zipper: Yep, it's me.
Cappy: I though maybe you'd skip us this year.
Eric Von Zipper: I like you. And when Eric Von Zipper likes someone, they stay liked.
Cappy:
Well, you came to the right cat. If anything you want to know about these kids I can tell you the whole thing in two words - they're nuts.
