Dean Martin
(as Joe Jarrett)
Zack Thomas:
What do you suggest?
Joe Jarrett: Well, I don't like to louse up a new sporting jacket, but I think... well, maybe you and I, we could settle this between us, you know. Winner take all.
Joe Jarrett: Well, I don't like to louse up a new sporting jacket, but I think... well, maybe you and I, we could settle this between us, you know. Winner take all.
Dean Martin
(as Joe Jarrett)
Mike Mazurki
(as Chad)
Elya Carlson:
[from trailer] If Mr. Thomas every gets tired of me and spends his evenings with other ladies...
Chad: You'll cut his own throat.
Chad: You'll cut his own throat.
Anita Ekberg
(as Elya Carlson)
Elya Carlson:
[from trailer] In this country, you really need only a little patience and self discipline.
Maxine Richter: Discipline?
Elya Carlson: Yes, to know what to give and when to get it. And I must say my dear, you do know when and what.
Maxine Richter: Discipline?
Elya Carlson: Yes, to know what to give and when to get it. And I must say my dear, you do know when and what.
Anita Ekberg
(as Elya Carlson)
Elya Carlson:
In my country we have a saying: "a secret whispered in a coffee house is as confidential as a headline in a newspaper".
Victor Buono
(as Harvey Burden)
Dean Martin
(as Joe Jarrett)
Maxine Richter:
[Talking about a nude portraid of herself] This was the only thing my husband left me. He was a... connoisseur of art.
Joe Jarrett: It's a shame he didn't leave you any clothes to go with it.
Joe Jarrett: It's a shame he didn't leave you any clothes to go with it.
Dean Martin
(as Joe Jarrett)
Maxine Richter:
How do you feel about marriage, Joe?
Joe Jarrett: Fine, but who'd have us?
[pause]
Joe Jarrett: Oh, no, Max. You're not thinking about marriage?
Maxine Richter: No. Of course not. Why should I think about marriage?
Joe Jarrett: That's why I like you, Max. You got brains. You think like a man.
Maxine Richter: I'm glad, Joe. Then it doesn't bother you that I'm a woman?
Joe Jarrett: With what you got on, I'd be in trouble if you were a man.
Joe Jarrett: Fine, but who'd have us?
[pause]
Joe Jarrett: Oh, no, Max. You're not thinking about marriage?
Maxine Richter: No. Of course not. Why should I think about marriage?
Joe Jarrett: That's why I like you, Max. You got brains. You think like a man.
Maxine Richter: I'm glad, Joe. Then it doesn't bother you that I'm a woman?
Joe Jarrett: With what you got on, I'd be in trouble if you were a man.
Dean Martin
(as Joe Jarrett)
Maxine Richter:
I like men who worry about me.
Joe Jarrett: You don't have to worry about me. I'm a great worrier. Sometimes I worry for months on end.
Joe Jarrett: You don't have to worry about me. I'm a great worrier. Sometimes I worry for months on end.
Dean Martin
(as Joe Jarrett)
Moe:
Captain, help me out, will you? I'm dealing with two mental midgets here. Now, when I say "go", we'll all point to the right. Go!
[they all point in different directions. Joe slaps them]
Joe Jarrett: Go!
[they all point in different directions. Joe slaps them]
Joe Jarrett: Go!
