Mary: If it's true, J.J.'s gonna hit the ceiling.
Sidney Falco: Can it be news to you that J.J.'s ceiling needs a new plaster job every six weeks?


--Tony Curtis (as Sidney Falco) in Sweet Smell of Success

J.J. Hunsecker: Mr. Falco, let it be said at once, is a man of 40 faces, not one - none too pretty, and all deceptive. You see that grin? That's the, eh, that's the Charming Street Urchin face. It's part of his helpless act: he throws himself upon your mercy. He's got a half-dozen faces for the ladies. But the one I like, the really cute one, is the quick, dependable chap. Nothing he won't do for you in a pinch - so he says. Mr. Falco, whom I did not invite to sit at this table tonight, is a hungry press agent, and fully up to all the tricks of his very slimy trade.
[Pulls out an unlit cigarette and faces Falco]
J.J. Hunsecker: Match me, Sidney.
Sidney Falco: Not right this minute, J.J.


--Tony Curtis (as Sidney Falco) in Sweet Smell of Success

J.J. Hunsecker: What's this boy got that Susie likes?
Sidney Falco: Integrity - acute, like indigestion.
J.J. Hunsecker: What does that mean - integrity?
Sidney Falco: A pocket fulla firecrackers - looking for a match!
[grinning]
Sidney Falco: It's a new wrinkle, to tell the truth... I never thought I'd make a killing on some guy's "integrity."


--Tony Curtis (as Sidney Falco) in Sweet Smell of Success

J.J. Hunsecker: Yes, Sidney. You sound happy, Sidney. Why should yoy be happy when I'm not? How do you spell Picasso, the painter? One S or two?
Sidney Falco: Two.


--Tony Curtis (as Sidney Falco) in Sweet Smell of Success

Sally: But Sidney, you make a living. Where do you want to get?
Sidney Falco: Way up high, Sam, where it's always balmy. Where no one snaps his fingers and says, "Hey, Shrimp, rack the balls!" Or, "Hey, mouse, mouse, go out and buy me a pack of butts." I don't want tips from the kitty. I'm in the big game with the big players. My experience I can give you in a nutshell, and I didn't dream it in a dream, either - dog eat dog. In brief, from now on, the best of everything is good enough for me.


--Tony Curtis (as Sidney Falco) in Sweet Smell of Success

Sally: Where do you want to get?
Sidney Falco: Way up high, Sal, where the air is balmy.


--Tony Curtis (as Sidney Falco) in Sweet Smell of Success

Morgana: Do you know which of the oceans is the widest?
Eric: The Poisoned Sea.
Morgana: No. The ocean between a Christian and a heathen.
Eric: [takes her hand] Our hands can reach across it as easily as that.


--Tony Curtis (as ) in The Vikings

Morgana: This bodice is too tight, I'll have to stop.
Eric: What's a bodice?


--Tony Curtis (as ) in The Vikings

Albert DeSalvo: [inside sanitarium] But... I don't belong here.... I-I guess everybody says that, don't they?


--Tony Curtis (as ) in The Boston Strangler

Albert DeSalvo: What did you tell the children where I am?
Irmgard De Salvo: They haven't asked.
Albert DeSalvo: What... What do you mean, "they haven't asked"?
Irmgard De Salvo: Well, they're only... they're only little children.
Irmgard De Salvo: I know, but... they accept things.
Albert DeSalvo: But... don't they miss me?


--Tony Curtis (as ) in The Boston Strangler