The Fortune Cookie

The Fortune Cookie

Doc Schindler: I'm looking for a freckle!


--Ned Glass (as Doc Schindler) in The Fortune Cookie

West Side Story

West Side Story

Doc: Why do you kids live like there's a war on?


--Ned Glass (as Doc) in West Side Story

Charade

Charade

Leopold Gideon: Well, you know I'd tell you if I had it.
Tex Panthollow: Oh *naturally*, just like I'd tell you if I had it.
Leopold Gideon: *Naturally*. And that goes for Herman too.
Tex Panthollow, Leopold Gideon: *Naturally*.


--Ned Glass (as Leopold W. Gideon) in Charade

King Creole

King Creole

Danny Fisher: What room is the party in?
Hotel Desk Clerk: I beg your pardon, what party?
Danny Fisher: You know, the PARTY the fellas are having!
Hotel Desk Clerk: Oh! Oh! It's up in room #205.


--Ned Glass (as Hotel Desk Clerk) in King Creole

West Side Story

West Side Story

Tony: You heard - it's gonna be a fair fight!
Doc: And that's going to cure something?
Tony: From here on in, everythin's gonna be all right! I got a feelin'!
Doc: What have you been taking tonight?
Tony: A trip to the moon! And I'll tell ya a secret. It ain't a man that's up there, Doc. It's a girl, lady. Buenas noches, Senor.
Doc: Buenas noches? So that's why you made it a fair fight...
Tony: I'm gonna see her tomorrow an' I can't wait!
Doc: Tony... things aren't tough enough?
Tony: Tough? Doc, I'm in love!
Doc: And you're not frightened?
Tony: Should I be?
Doc: [after a pause] No. I'm frightened enough for the both of us.


--Ned Glass (as Doc) in West Side Story


West Side Story

West Side Story

Tony: You know what Maria and me are gonna do out in the country? We're gonna have kids, lots of 'em, and name them all after you-even the girls. That way when you come and visit...
Doc: [slaps him] Wake up! Is this the only way to get to you? Fight like all you kids do?


--Ned Glass (as Doc) in West Side Story

West Side Story

West Side Story

Riff: We gotta stand up to them Doc; it's important.
Doc: Fighting over a little piece of street is so important?
Action: To us it is!
Doc: To hoodlums it is!
Action: Who're you callin' a hoodlum?
Doc: War councils...
Action: Don't start, Doc.
Doc: ...Rumbles...
Action: D'you hear me, Doc?
Doc: Why, when I was your age...
Action: When *you* was my age? When my old man was my age, when my brother was my age... You was never my age, none of ya! And the sooner you creeps get hip to that, the sooner you'll dig us!
Doc: I'll dig you an early grave, that's what I'll dig.


--Ned Glass (as Doc) in West Side Story

The Fortune Cookie

The Fortune Cookie

Willie Gingrich: He's gonna give you a shot to help you pass those tests.
Harry Hinkle: Oh, I'm not gonna take any shots from a waiter!
Willie Gingrich: What do you mean "waiter?" This is Doc Schindler, from Chicago.
Doc Schindler: Howdy.
Willie Gingrich: Those insurance guys think they're such geniuses. What they forget is every time they build a better mousetrap, the mice gets smarter, too.
Harry Hinkle: You'll be careful, won't you, Doc?
Doc Schindler: I better be, because I'm on parole.
Harry Hinkle: Parole?
Doc Schindler: They caught me tampering with a horse at Arlington Park.
Harry Hinkle: A veterinary?
Willie Gingrich: Well actually, he's a dentist.
Doc Schindler: What do you want?
Willie Gingrich: Right arm and left leg. Make them good and numb.
Doc Schindler: Oh, *numb*.
Willie Gingrich: Sure, we want those nerves blocked!
Doc Schindler: Oh, then I better use the Novocain, because with this stuff, he'll run the mile in 1:34 flat.


--Ned Glass (as Doc Schindler) in The Fortune Cookie

West Side Story

West Side Story

Lieutenant Schrank: Do you mind?
Doc: I have no mind. I am the village idiot.


--Ned Glass (as Doc) in West Side Story

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