Don Lockwood: Cosmo, call me a cab.
Cosmo Brown: OK, you're a cab.


--Donald O'Connor (as Cosmo Brown) in Singin' in the Rain

Don Lockwood: I'm no actor. I never was. Just a bunch of dumb show. I know that now.
Cosmo Brown: Well, at least you're taking it lying down.
Don Lockwood: No. No kidding, Cosmo. Did you ever see anything as ridiculous as me on that screen tonight?
Kathy: Yeah, how about Lina?
Don Lockwood: All right. I ran her a close second. Maybe it was a photo finish. I'm through, fellas.
Kathy: Don, you're not through!
Cosmo Brown: Why of course not. Why, with your looks and figure, you could drive an ice wagon or shine shoes!
Kathy: Block hats!
Cosmo Brown: Sell pencils!
Kathy: Dig ditches!
Cosmo Brown: Or worse still, go back to vaudeville.


--Donald O'Connor (as Cosmo Brown) in Singin' in the Rain

Don Lockwood: Tell me the truth, am I a good actor?
Cosmo Brown: As long as I'm working for Monumental Pictures, you're the greatest of 'em all.


--Donald O'Connor (as Cosmo Brown) in Singin' in the Rain

Don Lockwood: What's the matter with that girl? Can't she take a gentle hint?
Cosmo Brown: Well haven't ya heard? She's irresistible. She told me so herself.


--Donald O'Connor (as Cosmo Brown) in Singin' in the Rain

Pete Monahan: Did you kids have a good time at the beach today?
Patsy Monahan: Oh, sure. I enjoy an occasional dip in the common pleasures of the proletariat.
Jimmy Monahan: If you knew what those words meant and could spell 'em, you'd be almost literate.


--Donald O'Connor (as ) in The Merry Monahans

Judy: Harry Flack is coming to dinner Monday night.
Melvin: Oh. Well, that's simple. Poison him.
Judy: He wants to talk to Pop! He's going to propose!
Melvin: Propose! To your father?


--Donald O'Connor (as ) in I Love Melvin

Judy: They want me to marry Harry Flack!
Melvin: Judy, you can't! I - I love you, Judy!
Judy: Shh...Melvin...
Melvin: You're not gonna do it, are you?
Judy: Well, you see...
Melvin: Because if you do it, I'll be very frank about this, Judy. If you do it, I'll kill myself!
Judy: Melvin! Stop it!
Melvin: I mean it! Judy, you know how I feel! I'd do anything for you! I'd rob a bank, I'd take a rocket to the moon, anything! Just ask me!
Judy: Put me on the cover! My picture, on the cover of the magazine!
Melvin: Judy, I said I'd kill myself or take a rocket to the moon, but don't ask the impossible!


--Donald O'Connor (as ) in I Love Melvin

Rod: Lina, you're a beautiful woman. Audiences think you've got a voice to match. The studio's gotta keep their stars from looking ridiculous at any cost.
Cosmo Brown: Nobody's got that much money.


--Donald O'Connor (as Cosmo Brown) in Singin' in the Rain

Mr. Schneider: Have some food!
Melvin: No thanks, not on an empty stomach.


--Donald O'Connor (as ) in I Love Melvin

Tom Milford: This is the girl who took my place.
Harvey Granson: Well, what's she doing in my place?
Tom Milford: She won't let me in my place so I had to call your place my place.
Harvey Granson: Get her out of here, you hear! Out! Out!
Tom Milford: Now, Harv, I've been working on her, now she's just starting to talk.
Harvey Granson: Now teach her how to walk and get her out of here!


--Donald O'Connor (as ) in That Funny Feeling