Egbert G. Higginbothom:
You know, some people call me a wit.
Tommy Tanner: And they're half right.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in Caught Plastered
Tommy Tanner: And they're half right.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in Caught Plastered
Bert:
You blew your nose!
Bob: I did not blow my nose. It was your imagination!
Bert: Oh, no. My imagination doesn't make a noise like that.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in Cockeyed Cavaliers
Bob: I did not blow my nose. It was your imagination!
Bert: Oh, no. My imagination doesn't make a noise like that.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in Cockeyed Cavaliers
Tommy Tanner:
The manager came backstage and said he didn't allow profanity in his theatre.
Egbert G. Higginbothom: We didn't use any profanity.
Tommy Tanner: I know, but the audience did.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in Caught Plastered
Egbert G. Higginbothom: We didn't use any profanity.
Tommy Tanner: I know, but the audience did.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in Caught Plastered
William Hobbs:
The servants have all quit.
Claude Horton: You're crazy!
William Hobbs: There they go, takin' the bus...They said they wouldn't work for a stupid-lookin' egg like you.
Claude Horton: And you let 'em call me a stupid-looking egg?
William Hobbs: Well, there is a resemblance, sir.
Claude Horton: That'll cost you one hundred dollars.
William Hobbs: You better make it two hundred.
Claude Horton: Two hundred?
William Hobbs: I told them what I thought you looked like.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in On Again-Off Again
Claude Horton: You're crazy!
William Hobbs: There they go, takin' the bus...They said they wouldn't work for a stupid-lookin' egg like you.
Claude Horton: And you let 'em call me a stupid-looking egg?
William Hobbs: Well, there is a resemblance, sir.
Claude Horton: That'll cost you one hundred dollars.
William Hobbs: You better make it two hundred.
Claude Horton: Two hundred?
William Hobbs: I told them what I thought you looked like.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in On Again-Off Again
Minnie Van Arden:
I have an idea you broke into this apartment.
Wendell Graham: No man with any sense would do a thing like that!
Minnie Van Arden: How do you know what a man with any sense would do?
Wendell Graham: Well, you've got me there.
Minnie Van Arden: Don't stand there acting like a fool!
Wendell Graham: I'm not acting.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in Cracked Nuts
Wendell Graham: No man with any sense would do a thing like that!
Minnie Van Arden: How do you know what a man with any sense would do?
Wendell Graham: Well, you've got me there.
Minnie Van Arden: Don't stand there acting like a fool!
Wendell Graham: I'm not acting.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in Cracked Nuts
[Tarzana and Wilbur are coming out of her tree hut and are seen by Alexander]
Alexander: Where were you last night? What happened? Whose fault was it? Answer me yes or no!
Wilbur: Yes.
Alexander: Just as I expected. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Wilbur: I was up a tree.
Alexander: Yeah? What were you doing?
Wilbur: I was doing all right.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in So This Is Africa
Alexander: Where were you last night? What happened? Whose fault was it? Answer me yes or no!
Wilbur: Yes.
Alexander: Just as I expected. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Wilbur: I was up a tree.
Alexander: Yeah? What were you doing?
Wilbur: I was doing all right.
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in So This Is Africa
[Tarzana grabs Wilbur to kiss him]
Tarzana: More!
Wilbur: Hey!
ECHO: Hey!
Wilbur: Stop!
ECHO: Stop!
Wilbur: I'm hungry!
ECHO: I'm hungry!
[Tarzana drags Wilbur towards her cave]
Wilbur: I don't want to go in there with you!
ECHO: Don't be a chump!
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in So This Is Africa
Tarzana: More!
Wilbur: Hey!
ECHO: Hey!
Wilbur: Stop!
ECHO: Stop!
Wilbur: I'm hungry!
ECHO: I'm hungry!
[Tarzana drags Wilbur towards her cave]
Wilbur: I don't want to go in there with you!
ECHO: Don't be a chump!
--Bert Wheeler (as ) in So This Is Africa