Larry: Hey, you forgot something!
[she slaps him in the face]
Larry: That's what you forgot!

Larry: You know my sister was engaged with a wooden-legged guy.
Sgt. Moe: Yeah?
Larry: She broke it off.
Sgt. Moe: The engagement?
Larry: No, the leg.

Sgt. Moe: [answering his phone] Hello! Yeah! Detective bureau, Sergeant Moe speaking. Oh, wait a minute, Clancy. Go ahead. You say there's a dead horse on Ticonderoga Street? How do you spell "Ticonderoga"? Oh, you don't know, either. Well, drag him over to First Street.
[hangs up]
Sgt. Moe: I have to think of everything.

Sgt. Moe: Quiet, everyone! Genius at work!

[Repeated line]
Sgt. Moe: I have to do everything around here!