
Roland Young
(as Cosmo Topper)
Hotel Manager:
Perhaps you can explain the red on this cigarette.
Cosmo Topper: Yes, I... cut my tongue when I was shaving this morning.
Cosmo Topper: Yes, I... cut my tongue when I was shaving this morning.

Cary Grant
(as George Kerby)
George Kerby:
[goes to change Topper's flat tire] Well, I'll be darned if I waste any ectoplasm doing it.
[turns invisible]
[turns invisible]

Cary Grant
(as George Kerby)
George Kerby:
My pet, resting's the sort of thing you've got to work up to gradually... very dangerous to rest all of a sudden.

Constance Bennett
(as Marion Kerby)

Cary Grant
(as George Kerby)

Cary Grant
(as George Kerby)
Cosmo Topper:
[drunk] Well, that's how I dance. How do you like it?
George Kerby: [smiles and nods politely] Yes, I thought that was pretty - bad.
George Kerby: [smiles and nods politely] Yes, I thought that was pretty - bad.

Roland Young
(as Cosmo Topper)
Cosmo Topper:
[to George, referring to his wife] Yes, I'v never - never beaten her.
[awkwardly]
Cosmo Topper: Not... yet, I haven't.
[pauses, then nods to liquor on the table]
Cosmo Topper: Open the other bottle.
[awkwardly]
Cosmo Topper: Not... yet, I haven't.
[pauses, then nods to liquor on the table]
Cosmo Topper: Open the other bottle.

Roland Young
(as Cosmo Topper)
Cosmo Topper:
[to two bewildered onlookers, who've been watching him talk to an invisible Marion] Well, is it *my* fault there's no one here?

Roland Young
(as Cosmo Topper)
Cosmo Topper:
Good morning, Clara.
Mrs. Topper: Good morning, dear. You're late.
Cosmo Topper: Oh... better late than never. Only 44 seconds, anyhow.
Mrs. Topper: Good morning, dear. You're late.
Cosmo Topper: Oh... better late than never. Only 44 seconds, anyhow.
