Bud Abbott
(as Cuthbert Greenway / Dr. Ralph Greenway)
Cuthbert Greenway:
Emily! When you came in here just now, did you or did you not kick me?
Emily: Certainly not.
Cuthbert Greenway: [getting worried] Oh!
Emily: Certainly not.
Cuthbert Greenway: [getting worried] Oh!
Lou Costello
(as Horatio Prim)
Lou Costello
(as Horatio Prim)
Horatio Prim:
[he and Melody collide and are wearing each other's clothes] Odds bodkins, we're all mixed up!
[they run into each other again and get back into their own clothes]
Horatio Prim: Melody, don't ever do that again, I'm a boy!
[they run into each other again and get back into their own clothes]
Horatio Prim: Melody, don't ever do that again, I'm a boy!
Lou Costello
(as Horatio Prim)
Horatio Prim:
[Horatio and Nora are laying in the hay, Nora kisses him, he gasps and stutters] Nora!
Nora O'Leary: Oh Horatio, do my kisses thrill you that much?
Horatio Prim: I'm sitting on a pitchfork!
Nora O'Leary: Oh Horatio, do my kisses thrill you that much?
Horatio Prim: I'm sitting on a pitchfork!
Lou Costello
(as Horatio Prim)
Horatio Prim:
Cuthbert, Melody, it's Cuthbert! He's still alive!
Melody Allen: How can that be?
Horatio Prim: I don't know, they say only the good die young.
Melody Allen: How can that be?
Horatio Prim: I don't know, they say only the good die young.
Lou Costello
(as Horatio Prim)
Horatio Prim:
I don't want those people coming around here saying,
[singing]
Horatio Prim: Here lie the dirty traitors! Here lie the dirty traitors!
[crying]
Horatio Prim: Here lie the dirty traitors.
[singing]
Horatio Prim: Here lie the dirty traitors! Here lie the dirty traitors!
[crying]
Horatio Prim: Here lie the dirty traitors.
Binnie Barnes
(as Mildred Dean)
Binnie Barnes
(as Mildred Dean)
Mildred Dean:
[to June about Dr. Greenway] Last week he said that the rash I had wasn't an allergy, it was a guilt complex because I kicked your grandmother in the bustle when I was 2 years old.
Lou Costello
(as Horatio Prim)
Marjorie Reynolds
(as Melody Allen)
Melody Allen:
[turning on the house's electric lights] Amazing... must've got it from Benjamin Franklin, he's always inventing things.