Porky Pig: [on a conveyor belt, about to be cut by a buzzsaw] T-the cotton gin was invented by Eli Whitney.
Daffy Duck: [stops the buzzsaw] You're absolutely correct! And let me remind you again, folks, that you're listening to Truth or -Aaaugh! Brought to you by the Eagle Hand Laundry. If your eagle's hands are dirty, we'll wash them clean. Now, back to our contestant. Mwahahahah!

Porky Pig: Pardon me, but may I have my jackpot?
Daffy Duck: Oh, well, fair is fair.
[giving Porky a cauldron]
Daffy Duck: Here's you pot, Jack.
Porky Pig: B-but my name's isn't Jack
Daffy Duck: It's not? Oh, I'm sorry. This pot was made for Jack. Jack-pot, get it? Your name isn't Jack, so you must pay the penalty!

Daffy Duck: And for being such a good sport, I'm going to give you the 26 million dollars and three cents.
Porky Pig: [on phone] H-hello, I would like to speak to the president of the Ajax Broadcasting Company.
[pause]
Porky Pig: H-hello? How much will you take for your television network?
[pause]
Porky Pig: Eh, 26 million dollars and three cents? Sold!
Daffy Duck: [uneasy] Hello, boss.
[gulps]
Porky Pig: [snatches Daffy's answer sheet] In w-what latitude and l-longitude did the wreck of the Hesperus occur?
Daffy Duck: Well, I...
Porky Pig: [hits Daffy repeatedly with a mallet] Oh, I'm sorry. Time's up. So y-you must pay the penalty.
Daffy Duck: Anyone for tennis?
[water, a safe, and a boulder fall on Daffy]
Daffy Duck: [on the conveyor belt of the buzzsaw] Have you got a doctor on the balcony, lady?

Daffy Duck: Guess who Miss Shush is and I'll give you 26 million dollars and three cents.
Porky Pig: W-w-well, now, I...
Daffy Duck: Here's the clue. This is the sound of Miss Shush brushing her teeth on Wednesday.
[plays record]
Daffy Duck: Now who is Miss Shush?
Porky Pig: L-L-Lauren Bacall?
Daffy Duck: Oh, I'm sorry. But don't be discouraged. Miss Shush is right here in this studio, and I'm going to let you meet her. The famous movie star, Miss Shush!
[Opens dressing room door]
Porky Pig: Oh b-b-boy! I-I'll add to my autograph collection.
[Enters]
Daffy Duck: Miss Shush is in there, all right, but what I didn't tell him was that Miss Shush is really Mamie, the 600-pound gorilla, who appears in Obnoxious Pictures' "Jungle Jitters."
[Offstage growls and thrashing sounds]
Daffy Duck: Next contestant, please.

Daffy Duck: I will now play a passage from a famous opera, and you must name the opera.
Porky Pig: But... but I'm weary.
Daffy Duck: Listen carefully!
[plays a single note on piano]
Daffy Duck: And there you have it! Now, what's the opera?
Porky Pig: C-Cavalleria Rusticana?
Daffy Duck: Audience?
Audience: Rigoletto!

Daffy Duck: In my hand you'll notice I hold two buzzers. You must push one. Hurry now. Which one? Quick! Good, clean, wholesome fun!
[Porky pushes one buzzer; a safe falls on him]
Daffy Duck: You're a great sport. A great sport!
Porky Pig: C-could I please take my prizes and g-go home now? I-I'm not feeling too well.
Daffy Duck: And for being such a great sport, I'm going to let you push the other button and win a prize. Come on, now. Don't be bashful. Push.
[Porky pushes the other buzzer; a huge boulder falls on him]
Daffy Duck: And the gentleman wins the Rock of Gibraltar! And that's not all. The gentleman also wins six hundred gallons of genuine Niagara Falls.
[Water falls on Porky]
Daffy Duck: Give the lucky winner a hand, folks.

Daffy Duck: Listen, bub, you've got 32 teeth, would you like to try for 16?
Porky Pig: Are you th-th-threatening me, because I...
Daffy Duck: HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP! This cry for help has been brought to you by the Eagle Hand Laundry.

Daffy Duck: The next question is: What was Cleopatra's aunt's maiden name?
Porky Pig: Which one? Her maternal aunt, or her paternal?
Daffy Duck: Here, watch your language, bud. We're on the air.

Daffy Duck: This program is brought to you by the Eagle Hands Laundry. Does your eagle have dirty mitts?