Bill Maguire: [Maguire is on the phone to the editor after a pile of letters about nuclear tests is dumped on his desk] What am I supposed to do with these protest letters?
[pause]
Bill Maguire: Thank you very much but there are seventeen hundred of them.

Bill Maguire: [reading a newswire] There's a chap in Leeds says he can extract water from the atmosphere. Oh, as you were, he's been certified.

Bill Maguire: No woman's irreplaceable, no matter how much you love her. There will be somebody else sooner or later. London's full of somebody else's.

Bill Maguire: They've shifted the tilt of the earth. The stupid, crazy, irresponsible bastards! They've finally done it.

[Bill asks Peter what is bothering him]
Bill Maguire: It's the kid, isn't it?
Peter Stenning: You ought to see the way they're bringing him up, Bill. It'll be the right prep school next. And then the right boarding school. And by the time they finish with him, he'll be a right bowler-hatted, who's-for-tennis, toffee-nosed gent, but he won't be MY son.
Bill Maguire: Oh, I don't know. That bad blood of yours is bound to come out.

[Scientist Sir John Kelly speaks to quell public fears on TV, watched by the journalists in a pub]
Sir John Kelly: As I am sure most of you will know, a solar eclipse occurs as a result of the interposition of the Moon between the Earth and the Sun.
Bill Maguire: And that, children, is how the little bunny rabbit got his fluffy white tail.