Stan Laurel

Stan Laurel
(as Stan / Alf Laurel)

Stan: Shakespeare.
Ollie: Longfellow.
Ollie: What goes up the chimney?
Stan: Santa Claus.

Oliver Hardy

Oliver Hardy
(as Ollie / Bert Hardy)

Ollie: Stan took me to see and Punch and Judy show; I haven't seen one of those since I was a kid.

Oliver Hardy

Oliver Hardy
(as Ollie / Bert Hardy)

Ollie: You know, that Laurel is the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
Ollie: [as Bert] The other one is, too. Neither one of them can see any further than the end of their nose.
[Ollie and Bert walk off the pier into the bay. Fade out]

Oliver Hardy

Oliver Hardy
(as Ollie / Bert Hardy)

Mrs. Daphne Hardy: [stops the desert cart] Just a minute.
[to Stan]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy: Help me this this, you.
[They each pick up a side of a giant birthday cake and drop it on Ollie's head]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy: Happy Birthday to you. Come on, Betty.
[Walks off]
Ollie: Now what did you go and help her for?
Stan: Well I didn't know what she was going to do.
Ollie: [looks into the camera] That's right - you wouldn't.

Oliver Hardy

Oliver Hardy
(as Ollie / Bert Hardy)

Finn: [hands Ollie a bill] Here, have yourselves a fling.
Ollie: A dollar? We can't do much flinging on a dollar.


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