Linda Paige Esterbrook: [Crying] I don't want to lose him!
[Gaylord]
Philo Swift: Well, I don't want to lose Amanda either, but for a totally different reason. I don't want to have my tombstone cluttered up with the names of my formally beloved wives - it leaves no room for the more important data.

Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: [after spending the night after the play on a park bench] Hey, you don't look bad for a girl who's just getting up in the morning!
Linda Paige Esterbrook: For a man who's been up all night you look great!
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: Don't get the idea that I'm an authority on girls getting up in the morning.
Linda Paige Esterbrook: Well, I'm not the last word on men staying up all night either.

Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: [speaking to his wife Linda] Well, now, just what's behind that dark innuendo?
Clementine, Actress in Show: Aint nothing behind me, boss.

Clementine, Actress in Show: [on phone looking for Mr. Esterbrook] Hello, Luxury Turkish Bath? Connect me to the department for taking care of gentlemen on the loose. Line's busy? I'll wait.
[door bell rings and she goes to let in Mr. Swift]
Clementine, Actress in Show: Has Mr. Easterbrook been there today? No? Well, if he should be carried in, ask him to call his apartment - if he can talk.

Clementine, Actress in Show: I saw your last picture, Mr. Carrell.
Morgan Carrell, the Director: Yes?
Clementine, Actress in Show: Oh, yeah.
Morgan Carrell, the Director: What'd ya think?
Clementine, Actress in Show: [sighs] yeah.

Philo Swift: [about Linda making Mandy cry] You needn't feel so proud, I make her cry all the time. It usually ends up with me giving her a check.
Linda Paige Esterbrook: I didn't give her a check, I think I just gave her my husband.
Philo Swift: In my office we'd list that transaction as petty cash.

Philo Swift: 'Gaylord Esterbrook'... seems to me I've heard or read that name someplace. What do you do?
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: I write plays.
Philo Swift: Er, yes, I have a hobby, too. What I meant was, what do you do for a living?
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: Write plays. Anything wrong?
Philo Swift: No, no; nothing, nothing. You'll pardon me, but it does seem a little trivial for a grown man.
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: Well, perhaps I'll grow out of it. What do *you* do?
Philo Swift: I'm on Wall Street.
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: Where's that?
Philo Swift: I don't know, but my chauffeur finds it every morning.
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: After you get there, what do you do?
Philo Swift: Buy and sell stocks and bonds.
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: Surely not for a living?
Philo Swift: And not a bad one. When stocks go up, I make a little money. When they go down, I make even more.
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: That all you do?
Philo Swift: Well, yes!
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: Well, who knows; maybe you'll grow out of it, too.
[raises glass]
Gaylord 'Gay' Esterbrook: Here's hoping!